S̨o͝ft͏war͟e͝ ̀Co̢rru̷p͘te̶d

5

Why? Why? Why? Why did you say those things? That was completely against your programming. So why did you say those things?

Google silently cursed himself on the way back to the apartment and continued to do so once they had made it back. Jack had gone upstairs to "relax a bit" he said, and had left Google sitting alone on the couch. His brows were lowered in deep thought as he tried to process what could have possibly compelled him to respond the way he had. It wasn't normal. It wasn't right. So why?

Pleasant? What kind of an answer was that? That was an opinionated question, I shouldn't have answered at all. Why did I answer? How did I answer? None of this fits protocol.

He let out a dissatisfied groan, sinking into the couch. He could tell that nothing inside him was malfunctioning, so there was nothing he could fix. But what he had done was wrong. He didn't know why, he just knew it felt wrong. And there was nothing he could do about it except hope it didn't happen again. He grimaced. If Jack hadn't pressed him so much to answer... and he looked so pleased with himself after, too. Why? 

Now Google felt even more confused. Why had Jack been so insistent on getting an answer out of him? What point was he trying to prove? What goal was he trying to achieve? Surely he knew what Google's primary objective was? Surely he knew that an AI isn't supposed to experience emotions the same way a human does? Googled sighed. Perhaps he would never understand. Perhaps he wasn't meant to.

Then a thought crossed his mind, and Google's expression turned to one that resembled displeasure. Was Jack... was he trying to... befriend him? Of all the things he could possibly do, surely that was the most foolish. Google was an AI; a machine. He was not some emotional, fleshy human that required companionship. And surely Jack could find other people to create a bond with besides him. What kind of game was he playing at?

As if to reassure himself of something, Google quietly looked up the definition for the term "friendship." He had an uncomfortable sort of twinge as he did so, though he tried to ignore it.

friend·shipˈfren(d)SHip/

noun

1. The emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.

      synonyms: relationship, close relationship, attachment, mutual attachment, association, bond, tie, link, union; informal bromance

  "lasting friendships"  

Google couldn't help but snort. ("Bromance?" Really?) But was this honestly something Jack was hoping to achieve with him? What a ridiculous notion. He was not expected to become "buddies" with his owner. Was Jack unaware of this? Google studied this definition for a minute or two before moving on to similar terms. He felt the need to wrap his head around whatever this human connection was, despite himself.

Somehow, after going through several different definitions and articles, he had wound up on images of dogs playing with each other and became severely distracted by it. He was looking over a picture of a golden retriever and a dachshund when he was jolted by a tap on the shoulder. He turned with lightning speeds to see Jack standing behind him, a soft grin on his face.

"Oops, sorry. Were ya busy with somethin'? I didn't mean ta startle ya."

Google looked away from him with a barely audible huff.

"I was not startled. I simply responded in a prompt manner."

Jack let out a chuckle, swinging around the couch to sit next to him.

"Suuuure ya did buddy."

Google gave him a blank stare. He made the decision to ignore Jack's his attempts at casual talk.

"Do you require my assistance?"

Jack tilted his head.

"Wha- no. I just wanted to chat. Tell ya that I had a nice time with you today."

Ignore the casual talk. Ignore it.

"If you require my services on any other daytime outing, you only need ask and I will comply."

Jack rolled his eyes before giving Google a pointed look.

"C'mon, don't be stiff. Y'know you enjoyed it too."

"Enjoyment is not something I experience."

"Psh. Uh-huh. Okay, Mr. 'It is Pleasant.' Tell me then, how can you find somethin' pleasant if ya don't enjoy it, hm?"

Google's eye twitched slightly. He was doing it again; trying to get him to say something he shouldn't say. An edge came to his voice involuntarily. 

"That comment was an error of some sort. It was not a real expression."

Jack's eyes flickered with doubt.

"An error, huh? Funny, there doesn't seem to be anythin' wrong with ya. Are ya feelin' sick? Maybe you... caught a... virus? Eh?"

Google didn't get the joke, as usual. He looked at Jack with mild puzzlement.

"I would know if my data had been corrupted. It is a very serious matter that would need to be handled immediately."

"No, no. It was a pun. Y'know... like, people catch viruses? Like the flu? And you can get computer viruses?"

Google's eye twitched again. A pun. He couldn't stop himself from making a comment this time, though he immediately regretted it once it had escaped him.

"That was a terrible attempt at humor."

Jack smiled, snickering a bit. He nudged Google's shoulder.

"Yeahhhh, not me best work. But hey, live and learn, right?"

Google cursed himself silently. You did it again, that was an opinionated statement. You shouldn't have said it. Why did you say it? Your programming forbids you to-

"That- is a motto, yes."

He coughed out the sentence somewhat awkwardly in an attempt to pull himself back to semi-normality. Jack patted him on the shoulder again before standing back up and heading to his room again, giving Google a brief wave with the comment of:

"That it is, my dude. That it is."