Hallelujah

I Need You

Nearly a week passed by with no sign of Castiel, for a few days Dean tried his best to go on like normal but nothing was really the same. After three days Dean stopped trying, Dean prayed to Cas every day of his absence. At the end of the week, Dean was lying in bed fully clothed and was lying atop the blankets. Dean lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling as he prayed, "Hey there, Castiel, I know that you're not listening that's why I've got the courage to say this to you. I'm starting to question why you pulled me out, because honestly I'd take the burning over this. I'm not brave enough for this, I've said this to you before, but I need you Cas. If you don't answer me tonight, come morning I'll never be the same." With that Dean started to hum and then sing softly, "Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. Hey Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better. And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain, don't carry the world upon your shoulders. For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool, by making his world a little colder. Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah. Hey Jude, don't let me down, you have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin. You're waiting for someone to perform with, and don't you know that it's just you. Hey Jude, you'll do. The movement you need is on your shoulder Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah yeah. Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her under your skin, then you'll begin to make it...Better better better better better better, oh. Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude." Dean paused for a moment, wiping a single tear from his eye, "Goodnight, Castiel." Castiel had heard it all. Tears streaming down his face. Dean's voice was what people often described as, the one of an angel. Castiel couldn't take it. He had to see this man, whose voice he found breathtaking, and words sweet to hear. He appeared next to Dean's bed, but made himself invisible to the human eye, for he was still not ready. He watched the hunter silently. He examined his face. He could see his eyes were tired. His hair messier than usual. The gruff facial hair. But his eyes still seemed to have hope in them, they still shined brighter than the stars and they were still as green as ever. He watched as the hunter fell asleep before moving a chair next to the bed and watching him from there. Dean waited for some sort of response, he was clinging onto the last tiny shred of hope he had. When Dean faintly heard the sound of wings his eyes lit up and he turned his head in the direction of the sound, only to see an empty room. Dean let out a subtle sigh before rolling over onto his side, Dean stifled his tears and took all of his feelings doing his best to bury them deep inside. Dean curled up before closing his eyes and finally falling asleep.
Castiel sighed. Knowing he was the reason behind Dean's pain. And yet he wouldn't speak to the hunter in fear of his reaction. Instead he decided to lay next to Dean once he knew he was deep asleep. He wrapped an arm around him and contemplated what it would be like to be with Dean Winchester as a formal thing. The cheesy pickup lines, the dates full of pie and dorky movies, the cuddling at night, the hot sex, the tender loving kisses, more hot sex. It didn't sound too bad. It didn't sound bad at all but it still wasn't meant to be. Angels and humans are not supposed to be together like that. For the first time that entire week Dean slept soundly, maybe because rather than nightmares and fear, he dreamt of love and Castiel. The dream was so vivid and real he could almost feel the angel's breath against the back of his neck, and the warm feeling of his embrace but Dean woke up. When he woke up that morning to a cold empty bed, all alone. This broke Dean, it left him feeling empty inside, like he had nothing left. Dean finally snapped, he couldn't help but cry. There was no holding back these tears. Dean was broken, and the one person that made him feel whole, the on that could heal his pain, was god knows where and refusing to answer his prayers. Dean cried for almost an hour until he had no tears left to shed, and so he simply just lied their. Cold and broken. Alone. Castiel felt guilty at having to leave without even saying goodbye. Only if he could go back in time and stop that kiss from happening. Things would still be okay and the hunter wouldn't be so broken. Castiel had to admit that he too felt broken. He just wanted to stay with the hunter but it would arise too many conflicts in heaven... but it didn't really matter, he had already rebelled against his sisters and brothers.
"Cas, please come back. I- just... nothing has to change. I'd be okay even just having you around, just please come back. We can...we can act like nothing ever happened." Dean prayed to Castiel one last time, he didn't want to act like the kiss never happened but he was willing to do anything to get Cas to come back to him, "Please, I need you Cas."