Only If You Knew

Chapter 4

She entered the room as quietly as she dared, probably hoping I didn't hear. But I did. These past few weeks in Cali had her thinking I was an early bird. But we were on the east coast now, a timezone I was familiar with; I could live an owl life too.

But I wish I had gone to sleep, so I didn't have to see her. One look & I knew. Her lipstick smudged, hair messed, that sensitive walk as she made her way to the bathroom. She had been with him. I watched her, disgusted, as she disrobed. Shirt, skirt, bra, shoes. Where were her panties? Nevermind, that was rhetorical. It was bad enough that I could imagine her with him; her hands on his back, her breasts at his lips, his body parts filling spaces where mine had been just a few short hours ago. I didn't like this, not one bit. Ugh! Why was she doing this!? She knew I didn't play well with others! I have to say something.

I slipped of the bed, creeping my way up behind her.

"Have fun?"

She spun around quickly, gasping.

"Fuck, Lauren, you scared me!"

Good.

"What did you do today?"

"Lauren."

"What?"

"Don't do this right now."

She turned her back to me, opening the glass door & turning on the shower. God, there were marks all over her. Her skin was chaffed & red. Were those bite marks?

"What the hell did he do to you!?"

She ignored me & stepped in the shower. I was not letting her close that door on me. My knee in the way was annoying her.

"Lauren, you knew what was going to happen when we got here. We talked about this."

And it was true. We did talk about this. But working out the linguistics was easy before you actually set it in motion.

"We didn't talk about him mutilating your body."

"It wasn't his fault."

"What do you mean?"

She looked down, backing away into the steady stream of water. She winced as the warm spray hit her tender breasts. This was not making me want to let this go. I stepped into the shower with her, not caring that I was getting my clothes wet, & backed her against the wall.

"What did you do with him?"

I was almost shaking from anger.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why? Because you're ashamed?"

"No!"

"Well, you told him about when we fuck, right?"

"Yes, but he's mo-"

"Then, why can't you tell me about what you & him do?"

"He just more understanding that yo-"

"If you can't even admit what you did, you must not love him like you say you do. So what are we doing?"

"Who the fuck do you think you are to tell me how I feel?"

I think that's the most upset I've ever heard her sound. I backed up a bit, feeling guilty. I didn't think she would react like that. But I couldn't completely back down. I brought this on so I was going to hold my ground.

"I'm just saying-"

"You wanna know what we did? He came to pick me up & he took me to his place. As soon as we got there, he took my clothes off."