Twice in a blue moon

PART 4

I was really shocked to find Samaira, crouching on the floor that day. She was coughing profusely. I crawled up to her, trying not to breathe in the smoke. I reached her and put her arm across the back of my neck and it hung from my shoulder. We crawled till the stairs and somehow made it down the stairs. When we got out of the main door of the hospital, I could see fire-fighters rushing towards us. We were taken towards the hospital gates, a little distance away from the main building where the rescue workers checked if we had any burns. I looked at the fire and the commotion but my eyes were searching for Mihika. I knew I would have to leave it up to the fire-fighters to save her because I knew that perhaps I was only capable of saving one of the two.

Samaira looks at the envelope which I had kept on the bench. She looks at me and sighs. We have met here today for a purpose. I received this envelope today morning and I felt that it was important that I read the letter inside it with Samaira. It's from Mihika. And it's her last letter.

The fire-fighters rescued all the people in the hospital that day, except one. My eyes were searching restlessly for Mihika but she was never seen by them again. Moreover, the fire had started from her room. In the past one month, I wasn't able to put the pieces of truth together to understand why did it all of it happen in such a dramatic and traumatic way.

I had questioned Samaira about what she was doing there on that day. She had said that she found out from my parents that I was at the hospital so she had come to talk to me and make amends. Before going to Mihika's room, she had gone to the restroom which was on the right side of the hallway. When she came out, she found herself surrounded by the smoke and crouched at the side of the wall, trying to crawl ahead.

We sit here in silence, looking at the river. After taking a deep breath, I have decided to open the letter. It says-

"Dear Mikhail,

Isn't it strange that helplessness leads to hopelessness so soon? All that has happened in my life seems like a perfect plot for a sad story- a story to gain sympathy, a story of unfortunate events. I won't try to victimize myself because that will make you think that I'm the dirty liar that cursed your pleasant life. I'm sorry for hurting you twice. I should've stopped Varun on that night. Yesterday, when you kissed me on my forehead, I should've told you that Samaira was at the window but I kept quiet. For the first time in a long time, I was able to gain your affection. I couldn't let it go. All these years, I had never been given a preference over anyone else in any matter but you had chosen to fight by my side that night and you had chosen to show that you care and both of these back-fired miserably. I'm sorry for all the moments of your life that I destroyed and all the pieces of your heart that I broke. If you meet Samaira and if she forgives you, please tell her that I'm sorry for disturbing your relationship. I've had enough of all of this. I wish to go away, to end this journey here. I don't want to be sidelined on the road of my own life. I found a bottle of strong sleeping pills in one of the trolleys of the nurses. I've decided to drown in the darkness of a slumber and never see the sunrise again.

Most of the times, journeys are longer than paths. But I'll just let my journey be shorter because neither do I want to wait for the end of the journey nor for the end of the path. Bye, Mikhail.

P.S. Hope to see you next time"

Tears roll down my eyes on discovering that Mihika wasn't murdered by the flames; she had chosen not to be saved by anyone. 'Why had Mihika not tried to get out of her room or call for help?' – The question had baffled all of us. But now I know the answer- she was almost dead when the fire consumed her. The unwavering truth was that she didn't want to be saved.

We're both shook completely by this revelation. We've chosen to sit here in silence. The past month has been difficult for us with memories of Mihika and the incident. But we both know that it has strengthened our bond. Samaira has regretted over-reacting that evening more than anything else. I regret not comforting Mihika when she needed me the most. But we are trying to get past our regrets.

The envelope was sent by a local agency which delivered couriers on specific dates. Mihika had somehow managed to send this to the agency before swallowing the pills. She had planned to become a mystery. We both had assumed that she would've died of the burns so we never followed the investigation which may have led us to the sleeping pills. Mihika made sure that we knew

It was indeed a shame that Mihika thought that she was a curse. She was an angel who changed our (me and Samaira) ordinary relationship into a much stronger bond. We used to be tied by strings but now we are bound by ropes.

Our lives are still ordinary with school and studies but we have a new wish to live- a wish to not die. On that day, when we were crawling on the floor, something flipped inside each one of us. It was as if Mihika left her old, cheerful spirit behind with us. Her death startled us, waking us up from the coma that all the ordinary live in. That is when I realized that when death startles life, some of the living give-in and die while others come back to life.