Getting to Know Bree

My Anxiety

I was a pretty shy kid, I actually had to go to therapy when I was in first grade because my teacher was worried about me. I would raise my hand and constantly ask if I had gotten the right answer, scared to be wrong. Most people would probably think that I was very concerned about my grade or a perfectionist. But my mom and teacher decided that I should see someone about it. 

As a kid, I had- and still do- have trust issues. So, the lady that I went to see couldn't get anything out of me, but I feel like maybe she sensed something was wrong.... I was never the type of person who liked big crowds, I can't handle being around a lot of people. I don't do well at social events, I guess that's why during high school, I was the one who stayed at home and read books on a Friday night rather than going to a football game. I didn't have my first anxiety attack until I was a Sophomore in high school, and that was a scary experience.

I don't really talk about my anxiety that much, because it always made me feel like there was something wrong with me. My brain's chemicals are imbalanced, but a lot of therapists have since then said it's because of PTSD. Which I don't think childhood trauma results to PTSD, but I don't know, I didn't study that stuff when I was in college. 

Anyways, I have anxiety, but it's calmed down since I've been pregnant. I don't think that it has gone away because I still feel myself getting overwhelmed when I'm with a large group of people or we're out in public for way too long. I haven't had an anxiety attack in a good bit, but I think it's because so much stress has been lifted since I came back home from college. 

I did a video on my YouTube channel talking about Anxiety, and I think I just wanted everyone to understand it more and for those who did have anxiety know that they weren't alone or that they weren't crazy or a freak. But yeah. I've been a little bit more open about it, and I know how to manage my anxiety but that doesn't mean it's gone forever.