Music, a Teenager, and Recovery

She didn't hesitate. She grabbed the gun on the table and...

Brooke. She was fairly normal. As normal as anyone can be. As far as she was aware, there was no such thing as 'normal' in the world. You create what is normal. You yourself give form to what you want to believe is normal. You will wonder, 'Do I really have that power?'. You do. Believe me, you do. The human mind is a powerful thing. It can make you believe amazing things, or horrible things. It has that power. 

Brooke Mitford was aware of this. She was conscious of the power of the mind. Some might call her weird, a 'weirdo', a freak, a witch. But those were just assumptions. No one knew who Brooke really was. She shut herself out from the world so well. She made herself an outsider, where she was comfortable. It did not bother her like it would have bothered other girls. She liked it. She liked being alone. She enjoyed the silence or the music from her headphones. She enjoyed the calmness that came when no one was around her to judge her, to speak to her, or to touch her.

She shook her head violently. Hoping to shake away those horrible memories that were resurfacing. She scrambled in her bag desperately, searching for her headphones. She found them and untangled them roughly, her fingers shaking, trying to get there before her whole body began to shake. She managed to untangle half of it but it was too hard. she grabbed one end and plugged it into her phone and fiercly pulled the headphones on her head. She grabed her phone, and with trembling fingers, unlocked it and pressed play. 

She concentrated on her music. She closed her eyes, letting herself relax and become absorbed in the music. She felt herself start to calm down and relax, blocking everything out. It was just the music. It was just the music. Nothing else. No one else. Brooke just lay on the grass with her eyes closed. Ignoring everything and everyone. Not giving a fuck about anyone who walked by or looked at her. She concentrated on the music, on the dynamics, the instruments, the sound. She was overwhelmed by the intensity of some songs, and she loved it, because it meant that she had been absorbed by the music and she got to forget everything else. It made her feel like she was okay. It made her feel alive. 

Music was her escape. Her salvation. Her everything.