The ForgottenLaws Of Spiritually

FLASHBACKS AND PORN

Not to sure whats real and whats not anymore but i know who I was and it's definitely not what I'm seeing there something else there when I stare into the mirror. Just Trying to catch a glimpse of something anything tell me I'm not losing myself because I can feel it I can smell it I can taste something different with the image thats staring back at me lurking inside those eyes my eyes something on the fringes lurking clawing at the back of my mind it somehow doesn't even feel like me staring back at me there it is again rotting smell coming from every pore of my body I just know someone will smell it and know but yet no one seem to notice. Why am i feeling this way how come my heart just don,t care anymore seems like all the passion hope has gone cold within my soul all my dreams goals that I had in life the things i wanted to do don't seem important anymore now now she would be pushing every thing in myself to fail and suffer to were there is no hope no reason to go on just cold darkness so cold it burns you right to the bone. My life was not always like this i had at one time had some feeling of personal well-being even care about what happen to my once so call family and love ones. Those days i didnt realize the slow changes inside of me. i just thouth the voices were just my mind thinking out loud not a separate entity that wanted to take every thing that was me and trash it just enough for me to still rember me but a just enough that i can't reclam what was me, Its funny how your own mind protects you from the pure truth of who you are and things around you. For example It like the person who loves to sing and to them it sounds amazing but in fact thay can't sings if there life depends on it no matter how many people tell them there not very good they still think there rockstar bond because singingmake them feel good it a release of there emotion. Our how some people think there the coolest person our the life of the party when with all there friends and family. When there not even close in other peoples eyes. In the mind of most people that are unbearable to be around for very long there mind come up with reason why no one calls to hang out our invites them to social events our came bye to visit very often. Our innerself our conscience cushions the truth of reality to our outerconscience to protect our state of mind and keep worry stress and fear at bearable levels. There things our mind and body does to protect and ensure or mental sanity and physical wellbeing without our knowledge our or help. So When we ingest our breathe in things to change our state of mind and body even what we see and read and listen to specially when we see in person our take part of our be a victim of some type of great tragedies or horrific act it can shock our brain so bad that it changes the chemistry of it just as bad if not worse then mood altering drugs we make its harder for our innerconscience to manage our wellbeing and sanity with a chemical imbalance which basically thins our Takes away the buffer that keeps our outer conscience from realizing the true harsh real reality of ourselves our interaction on how we effect our surroundings and our real bearing and worth in our world. In other term most of us will make no difference or have no lasting effect on our to this world our the things in it. You will be almost if not completely forgotten in less then 150( I did have 100 be it feel a little
Better at 150 lol )years after your death. Your innerconscienc makes it easier on us by giving us a sense of worth and bering and makes us the feel like we have a big affect of this world as if we were the center of the universe and all thing revolves around us when that is far from the truth. What am I getting with all this is what if something sneaks inside your inner being and slowly starts changing your chemicals in your brain to take control of your innerconscience kind of like reprogramming a computer our maybe it could by chance because of years of abuse to your body and brain have caused some imbalance that let you start hearing(not by sound but within you head ) and interacting with your innerconscience which is corrupted by you and your careless use of the precious life and body you have and its piss and trying to push you out of the driver's seat I think my innerconscienc is starting to take control in times when I have a lost of consciousness like From drinking to much or deep sleeping and when I get real mad. Our in real stressful situations.I have times when i say and do thing now when I'm sober and it feels like I'm in the passenger seat with one hand on the wheel kind of like when your teaching kid how to drive a car for the first time.then I'm left wondering after why would I do that and say those things that not like me. Now that I think back that wasn't me I just didn't realize it then I just blew it off as maybe my old age my mind was going I don't know. You'll have the place to yourself maybe I have something inside of me another being one without flesh and bones one with a consciousness a entity not bound by laws of men. But by its own laws the Forgotten laws of spirituality. How did all this happen our when did it start maybe this has always been inside me from my conception waiting for the chance to take control. Than there Life that has a way of slipping away faster then you realize one day your young on top of the world were anything can happen. You feel as if you can achieve your dreams things seem to be right within reach then before you know it things seem to to slip farther away and you settle for less and less. You seem just to fall in line with the rest of the so call normal way of life. Before you know it your 40 and faling apart little by little struggle to hold on to whats left of your life hopeing to make enough to retired and enjoy things. But bye the time you do your body and mind is so far gone from working and stress that you can do much. Without the pain and weakness of a body that is felling every day at a faster pace than you ever expect. So i look inside myself for something more something deep in the darkness of my mind that voice that has been whisper to me for years telling me there others ways to slow and change times affect on my body. Ways to  wash away the pain in with it the stress so to never worry about everything and slowly forget this thing you now call yourself as if being reborn inside while overcoming any obstacles that stands in you way. It tell me to forget the flesh and blood thoughts of past in don't only think of the future as something you can achieve by only working to better your now because present is a never  ending plane of reality that we are just a small part of a building block for good our bad on life in the present  . The way People look at TIME  it deeply missleads the mind to  separate past present in future as if there 3 separate spaces Moving along behind us and in front leading.Guided by our action Defining our life by what we did what we are doing and what we plan to do . Past is not within our physical reality because in the present past can not exist in physical reality only in our in our spiritual in Memories  Past exist but only To guide us to better exist in the present Physical reality. To help us as we are always working for a future a thing they want to accomplish our achieve. But we can never catch up to the future. Because it the future it doesn't exist will never exist within our present physical reality. See these so call part that make up time These traits that are born within us our Natural instincts to help us survive and overcome life's challenges within the present. To learn to stay breathing and a drive to keep it that way and work to maintain what we achieve an strive to lean to make it better on  physical body so we can continue to live with in the present Physical reality. We can have no effect our interact with the past our the future. We can only move in the physical present that what is real our only true reality. If our focus was on the here and now. Instead of suck on thing of the past and hope dreams and   expirations of some future. Yes you must have dreams but don't dwell if they do work out. To make what I'm saying short Don't let your future dreams become your past regrets don't let things that don't exist in the physical have a negative our influence your ongoing  survival to maintain a good and positive physical hold on your presence in this world. Time has overcome our Spiritual. With in our minds we hold them as reality real thing existing in the now we choose to let something that only exists in memory  to cause fear uncertainty shame despite hate depression instead of  leaning and using those memories to  Guide us to overcome life problems in the now. You see the past present future our all happening at once but on two reality physical reality the present only exists here. The spiritual reality which is your Brain the  idea of past and future exist with in the present of physical reality.  So how did this basic Instinct to maintain our existence in the physical I think over the course of our human experience and existence here though our birth an death here in the present learning to make our existence in the now better and  Easier to Maintain because of our basic Instinct and skills that we were born with to maintain our present here We have built this elaborate concept call time we have opened and separate this lie  in to 3 roads(which are made for easier movent from one place to another even on the inside we try to understand and make are present here easier our fuller I should say )call past present future after 3 of our basic Instinct. We with the way we decade in this bodys We should have only travel  up and down those roads to better understand our present to learn how to better preserve ourselves in it. See if that was the case the road would be littler less traffic easier to  Maintain an maneuver. That's not case now we have more light an technology that now we acquired alot less energy to  focus on things we do to maintain ourselves in out present life. So we have more time to just think without action basically go for joyrides in our past while thinking about our future even thouth  the past does not exist an can not affect our physical presence we dwell on those memories sometimes trying to relive them our make up from them our second guess ourselves our the ones around us so on an so on because of something that happen in our presence that no longer exists but in our minds we have wasted our physical present by liveing in the past while thinking of the future in own mind while not making any progress in our present  by or own over thinking of  so called time here in the present we have develop most our mental stresses and all the mentel problems that comes with chemical imbalance now even in my life I see how much less I have to you my mind to figure out problems just Google it our you tube it  easier mentally and physically now when it come to our progress in our presence to preserve our existence in the present. The brain is a muscle that if not work In a positive way meaning to work towards a way to effect in change our physical reality though our knowledge of what happened in our presence and how to build positive out of what has been negative on the now