I'm sorry I keep doing this, it's really unfair;
I'm not even sure if you really want to care;
I hate how it is but love it all the same;
I'm so confused after playing our game;
Our game of love that was bitter-sweet;
Our love that ended in sweet defeat;
I want your hugs and love and kiss;
And oh god there's so much more I miss;
And every night when I close my eyes;
I think back on all of the lies;
On everything I've said that hurt you;
And all of the times you helped me get through;
I really do miss you, that is true;
But it hurts so much I don't know what to do;
I can't tell if it's a bliss or a drug;
And in result my heart is in a tug;
In two different directions that leaves me unsure;
In two different ways that I wish you could cure;
I still have fantasies but don't you?
I can't help but dream onwards, too;
Too far for return upon realities check;
In the end it will continue to leave me a wreck;
Because I want you, I crave you, I do;
But baby it hurts what you put me through;
And god I know that I messed up bad;
But you were the best thing I've ever had;
I don't know if I should send this, I'm really confused;
Because this poem is a circuit that could blow a fuse;
I don't want your hate or discontent;
And to hurt you at all is not my intent;
As cheesy as this is, as against it I am;
I'm hurting you know it, I don't give a damn;
You're my world and my happiness my smile my heart;
Our love was a perfect sculpture, a piece of art;
Gorgeous and smooth chiseled by hand;
Not feeling rough, not close to sand;
But between the features were little cracks;
Tinted by pain and caring lacks;
To the eye it seemed really quite fine;
But the fact of the matter was there were too many lines;
To the touch it felt soft as can be;
But once you try to pull away you can't get free;
Captivating yet captive holding all the same;
Truly not what it seems despite all the fame;
Our love was sinking in quick sand, painfully slow;
It was unhealthy and sick yet we didn't know;
Not meant to hurt or not meant to sting;
You never meant to hurt a single thing;
Just as I did not mean to stab you in the back;
Nor did I try to push you off track;
We were toxic together, I have to admit;
Every second together ended in fit;
We are still young and have immature minds;
Lacking in wisdom any God finds;
Not understanding and feelings so strong;
Not knowing how to handle it but go along;
Bonding and pulling and hugging and crying;
Kissing and shouting and loving and sighing;
We couldn't escape one another's hold;
And to you I could sense it was feeling old;
I felt it was over, I felt it was right;
I cried myself to bed every night;
I had not a tear left to drain;
I had not a year I could waste on pain;
I wanted it to work more than you'll ever get;
And when I tried I ended upset;
I felt I could change you, help you in time;
But in the end I'm turned into mime;
You say my lips moving you saw my expressions;
Yet you could not hear my words or confessions;
So without words you were without a base;
Not enough to start to cut to the chase;
Loving you was an honour that I'll never regret;
And for me...well I hope you don't forget;
You're my first love that kept me high;
But on the inside I started to die;
Crippling slowly while you tried to hold;
Everything we knew was beginning to fold;
Slowly and us really wasn't an us;
And every meeting was such a fuss;
I wouldn't change a second for a minute;
Because we really got caught up in it;
So much we have that we can't control;
Maybe the future has something to hold;
Maybe there's a day where we can be together;
That we can hold each other in the worst of weather;
And no matter what we won't pull apart;
And we can perfect our cracked work of art.
