Arranged

Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen - Blast from the Past
(Pt. 1)

"I want to marry your daughter. I want to make her the happiest girl on this planet. I want to cherish her and love her so much that she never has a doubt in her mind. I want to give her the world. I want to have her children and I want to grow old with her and listen to her gossip about the neighbors."

I stared into the mirror at myself and realized just how pathetic I looked. I realized just how cliché my speech was and I realized that I don't deserve to have any of that with Melanie. I'd ruin it and I'd probably ruin her, I have already.

I slammed my hands on my dresser in frustration and thought of another way to express to Mr. Scheffler just how much I loved his daughter, and just how much I need her in my life.

Just as I was about to start another imaginary impromptu speech, my bedroom door eased open and my mom walked in slowly. She wore a smile of pity on her face, one I have been seeing a lot lately.

"What are you doing Alex?" She asked softly, her doe eyes staring into mine.

"Nothing mom, leave me alone please." I said looking away from her and back at myself.

"You keep disappearing on me Alex. You keep disappearing on me and every time I think it's for good." She said, her voice breaking. Her hand flew to her mouth as she struggled to get a good breath in.

I don't want to deal with this right now.

"Mom, I-"

"I know that you bought a ring, Alex." She said, her eyes sad and knowing, her voice barely there. I expected a shock of emotion to go through my body, fear, anxiety, something. But nothing happened, which shocked me even more.

"I know you bought a ring, and that you think you're ready for something like this but I assure you, you're not." Another shock.

If anyone were to be for this, it should certainly be my mom. She has been Melanie and I's cheerleader for so long, she was the one urging me on even after Melanie continued to deny me.

"You haven't even apologized to her and now your trying to ask her to marry you." She said reasonably. I looked at her reflection in the mirror as she looked back at me. I shook my head  'yes' solemnly and she shook her 'no.'

"Where are you guys going to live?" She asked crossing her arms. She's testing me, but she must not know I already have a plan.

"The guest house for now. And then when dad lets me control the corporate in Seattle, we'll move there."

"Where is she going to go to school?"

"She's been homeschooled her whole live and has all the tools to run the company. She doesn't even need to go to college."

"And what if she wants to?"

"Then she can." I wouldn't hold her back from going to college if she wanted, but I knew she wanted to get a handle on the company first.

"What if she doesn't want to?"

"Then she doesn't have to go to college, she ha-"

"No, what if she says no."

She won't

I gripped the small box in my pocket tightly.

She won't

"She won't say no." I said sounding more sure of myself than I felt at the moment. I know she wasn't happy with me, but I know I can fix it, I know I can.

"Do you really believe that?"

I turned around to face my mother. She wore no expression on her face, and stood there with her arms crossed. This wasn't supposed to be happening, she was supposed to be cheering me on and crying tears of joy. She wasn't supposed to be emotionless and condescending.

"Yes, why don't you?" It was my turn to stand with my arms crossed. Then she broke the façade. Her arms fell to her side and her eyes welled up with tears, she even slouched a little, which rarely happens.

"Alexander, I know you're in love with her, and that's great. I just think you're rushing into this without considering everything, and I know you're upset about your father.You still have things to consider that you don't even know," She walked to me and placed her hands on my shoulders giving them a small squeeze, "the time will come, but it is not right now, okay?"

The time is now though. I can't go another day without telling her how I feel. I can't go another day without hearing her voice, and knowing that she's furious with me. I can't go another day thinking, 'what if.' And I may be selfish, but I've been having a rough time coping, and she makes my pain go away, so I can't go another day without having her with me.

"Okay."

She gave me a small smile and kissed my forehead.

"Don't you disappear on me Alexander." The emotion in her voice was thick and before, I thought it was an irrational fear of hers, but she was genuinely afraid of me leaving her. Hence, the reason she's holding me back from marrying Melanie. Irrational.

"Okay."

She pulled away smiling as she was before, her eyes were lined with unshed tears. She's overbearing all the time, and this was just another one of her irrational fears. Melanie and I aren't going to disappear if we get married, if anything she'll be the reason I stay around.

"Get some sleep Alex." She said walking out of my room and closing the door.

I only waited about two minutes before grabbing my keys and sneaking out of the house.

You have nothing to worry about X, she's going to say yes.