Always Admiring ( G.D ) *COMPLETED*

~ Me? ~

(June 9, 2017) @ 6:53pm
*Grayson's POV*

She likes me?

She's been watching me for a while

But why?

I'm not interesting

She is by far way more confusing than I could have imagined
_____________________

Hours pass.....

And so do the entries

She has gone through a lot

I want to be with her now

I need to help her but I have to read what she wants me to know first

It's 10:00

It's hard reading this

Knowing what she thinks of me

She has heard the rumors

Emily has heard the lies people say about me

She needs to know the truth

Just as much as I need to know why she gave this to me

___________________________

It's 11:30

I start reading the part I have been dreading for the past hour

June 9, 2017
(Friday)

Dear Grayson,

I guess this a way of fixing things before I go

I'm sorry it's you

I'm sorry it had to be anyone

For my sake and yours

I wish I didn't care about you

I wish it had to be this way but it has to

I don't even know if you know me

I don't even know that your reading this

But just know that I love.... well I mean loved.... I loved you and cared for you

And I barely knew you

And i couldn't have be saved by you or anyone

This problem was too challenging
Too unsolvable
Too hard to understand

Which is why I'm writing this

So you could've in the slightest bit understood

This diary started as a therapy assignment that once again like all the others failed

But it now has turned to why I did what i did

And it wasn't because of you

It was never because of you

You're smile that I barely saw

That laugh that was enjoyable to hear

No matter who was near or what you were going through.... you had to smile because of it

The way you would always comb your hands through your hair because you probably thought it needed to be fixed but it looked perfect

You are perfect

I wasn't

And never could've been

So I'm leaving it up to you now

Do what you want

Be who you want to be because you shouldn't worry like I did

You don't want people unaware of your presence like I was

You don't want to me just as much as I didn't want to myself either

So goodbye love

Goodbye Grayson

Forever❤️
_______________________

I run to my car as fast as I can

I drive to the address she put in the diary

The drive is long

I can barely see

My eyes are filled with never ending tears

It's 11:55 now

There's no way I'll be able to save her

No way I can save myself from loosing her