Guardian (A Guardians Novella) SLOW UPDATE [Modified]

Chapter 9: Magnetic

Every second the clock ticked felt like hell. Time moved painfully slow. Keaira was trapped in the prison of her body, the creatures in her mind her biggest torment. Every slow passing second, she embraced. As long as they didn't hurt anyone else. As long as they didn't hurt Ryan.

She knew that dealing with demons and the like was a regular thing for him, but she couldn't let him fight her battles; bear her burdens. If it meant that she'd suffer daily and nightly, then she would do it. She'd ruined enough.

Maybe her mother was right. Maybe Keaira was crazy. Maybe she needed to grow up. 

Was she ill? Maybe. The feelings she felt told her otherwise. Voices echoing in her ears. Waking up shaking and in a cold sweat. Living everyday in the fear that the monsters will manifest and Ryan will fight even in his condition. Living with the guilt that no matter what she did, she was killing him.

His life was in her hands and her actions were a double edged sword. Daily, there was a reminder of that.

Keaira felt ragged as she walked down the sidewalk to the apartment where Ryan wanted to meet her. She recalled him mentioning it was his brother's. In the back of her mind, she knew what she was feeling was nothing compared to what Ryan was going through, so she carried on.

When Keaira arrived and knocked on the apartment door, she was greeted by the large frame of Ryan's brother Ricki. He wore a small smile but did not budge. "Please don't take too long letting him in. You may think you're doing what's right, but you're leaving my brother to die. You can heal him, but you need to let go of your ego."

With no further words, he stepped aside. Not before giving an insistant look. However, when she looked over to the sofa, she saw why. Ryan was wasting away. The slightest of movements looked to be taxing on him.

Ryan looked ghostly. Keira could clearly see his veins. His cheeks were hollowed and there were large circles under his eyes. It hurt to look at him.

"Ricki",  Ryan spoke, his voice raspy and low, "I will be fine. Don't do that to her."

Wordless and with a set jaw, Ricki turned and walked out of the apartment and into the fading evening.

"Ryan, I-"

He held up a hand. "I don't want you to feel like that. I have complete faith. What happens was meant to happen and would happen regardless. What I do is dangerous."

Ryan waved Keaira over and she went to him. They looked at each other for several moments. No words, just eyes staring and searching each other. Overcome with something she couldn't describe, Keaira gently pulled Ryan into her arms. Tears fell and shame took over.

He knew what was happening and pulled back from her. Grabbing her hand, he placed her palm on his cheek.

"What is it that keeps you from me? Why are you so afraid?"

Keaira could hear the taunting voices in her mind. Before fresh tears fell, she ran out of the apartment and down the street she came from. There was no way se could do it.

I can't tell him. I want to. I want him to be okay again. I want him to be whole. I want him to be able to start over and go back to before I got in his way. 

She began slowing her pace and walking toward her house.

I want him. I want him to be one with me. I want this to work. I want him to take all of me.  I'm terrified.