At Your Side (A Dragon Age fanfiction)

What About Now

It wasn't that Fenris didn't appreciate time spent with his friends, but the combination of Aveline and Varric wasn't a typical one, and he couldn't shake the feeling that this was more than just a social call. They'd been sitting in his chairs for twenty minutes now, and he was beginning to wonder how long they intended to stay. He was anxious to see Hawke, to talk to her about yesterday's defeat of Danarius and find out whether anything had changed between them with his former master's death.

"Seriously, elf, the world is your oyster! You aren't just going to sit around in Kirkwall, are you?" Varric's voice had reached a nearly strident pitch, and Fenris raised an eyebrow. If the dwarf was so fond of the idea of traveling the world, why didn't he leave Kirkwall?

Fenris perched on the edge of his desk. It occurred to him that he had never sat here before. He felt curiously light, sitting on top of the furniture this way. "What would you suggest I do?"

Varric shook his head in annoyance, and Fenris no longer had any doubt that this visit was less to congratulate him on his newfound freedom and more to quiz him on his intentions. "Anything! Maybe you could find a decent place to live. Surely you don't want to stay in this pit. Do you?" Fenris raised both eyebrows at that, and Varric hastily added, "Not that you haven't ... uh, fixed it up nicely ..."

"It needs to be condemned," Aveline corrected him. "And my ability to convince the Seneschal otherwise is coming to an end." Her expression was direct, and he read an ultimatum there loud and clear.

"Thank you for your efforts, Aveline."

"You know, with Danarius dead and this house to all intents and purposes abandoned, you could assert a claim; live here legally, instead of haunting Hightown and letting a highly coveted piece of real estate fall to pieces."

She was more subtle than Varric, which Fenris found somewhat surprising, but the underlying theme was the same. "I will give it some thought."

Aveline didn't look particularly pleased with that response, and Varric threw his hands into the air. "So you're staying? But you could go anywhere!"

Fenris's attention was caught by the scrape of a boot on a loose tile. He knew that step, and relief spread through him. He had planned to go to her, but it would be easier to say what he needed to say now that she'd come to him. His eyes on the doorway, he said, "Perhaps I don't wish to go anywhere."

Varric turned his head, following Fenris's gaze, as Hawke appeared in the doorway. She took in the tableau in front of her with amusement.

"Think about what I said, will you, Fenris?" Aveline said, getting up from her chair. She put her hand on Varric's shoulder, and the dwarf winced, getting to his feet as well.

"I see why Isabela calls you 'lady man-hands'," he muttered to Aveline, who squeezed harder, all but pulling him toward the door. Hawke leaned her shoulder against the doorframe, watching them. Varric submitted to being hustled from the room. As their steps receded down the stairs, Fenris could hear Varric remarking, "Freedom must be a great burden, I guess."

And then he was alone with her. Fenris stayed where he was, listening for the closing of the front door, wishing his thoughts were working properly so he could practice what he wanted to say. This was the moment he had dreamed of and dreaded and despaired of ever experiencing. When Hawke left today, he would know, one way or the other. And he couldn't seem to think clearly at all, not with her standing in front of him. She wasn't in armor, which seemed like a good sign, but the sight of her in regular clothes never failed to raise his heartrate.