A Beautiful Lie - Tom Kaulitz

You're Here To Kill Me

I knew that seeing her for the first time was going to be hard, I knew it was going to take every inch of control to stop myself from running for her, to show her I was still here and I was coming for her but I had no idea how much it was going to tear me up inside. She was beautiful, just as beautiful as I remember her but seeing her in that tight red dress made it so much harder for me to keep myself under control. The moment I laid eyes on her soft pale skin, long red hair and that tight dress it was like something that was dead inside of me had just come back to life, desire.

She was so oblivious to me being there, I could see as her eyes scanned the crowd but she had no idea that I was here, that I was so close. She looked tense, the way she used to look when I would take her on the road with me, her body was uptight and ready for anything. I never forgot what she looked like, her face was imprinted in my brain but to see her in the flesh again just made all those little things come pouring back to me. I remember the freckle just below her left eye and the birthmark on her lower stomach. I remember how she felt beneath me, the way her body moved.

I shook the erotic thoughts that had entered my mind and snapped my gaze back on her. I watched as a man at the bar began to eye her, his eyes burning a hole in her behind. My automatic reaction was to go and pummel his ass, to rip his eyes from his head for looking at her in that way but I knew I had to keep my cool, the place was filled with what looked to be Roman's men. The man got up from his seat and walked over to her, a slight unsteadiness in his step. I watched as she blew him off, her pierce blue eyes not even giving him the satisfaction of looking at him, it made me twitch with desire.

"So what's the plan then?" Georg asked from beside me, snapping me out of my trance.

I shuffled in my seat, trying to stop myself from getting too worked up just from the sight of her, I cleared my throat and motioned for him to follow me back outside the club, I took one last glance back at her, my heart aching as I had to leave her behind, I had to leave her in the pit of fucking predators without me but I knew I only had a short window to go into the club and suss it out, I couldn't push my luck and risk getting caught, it would jeprodise everything.

We made our way down the dark alleyway, a few drunk civilians chucking their guts up and stumbling over the stone path. We approached a dark black car and got inside. I looked to Bill as he sat in the drivers seat, an angry look on his face as he waited for us to close the doors.

I sighed "Don't be like that Bill."

He huffed and took off down the road "That was stupid! What if someone recognized you?" He snapped at me now "You would've been killed!"

"But I wasn't, besides no one would recognize me now with this beard." I joked but was hit hard by reality when I realized I wouldn't have a clue when I would see her again, if I would see her again, who knew what could happen between now and when we finally have a chance to swoop in and take her. Now all I could do was pray that she was smart enough to keep herself alive, and I had strong faith in her.

***

Tonight was the night, for the first time Roman had me working in the club as a prostitute. It made me sick to the stomach at the thought of what was to come, the thought of a strange man touching me made my skin crawl and I already pictured myself afterwards, scrubbing away at my skin until it bled just to try and get his smell off me. I held back the tears that were screaming to come out, Roman would be mad at me if I cried, if I ruined the makeup on my face and I didn't want to make him mad, I didn't want him to punish me again. I have been doing so well, recruiting women in the club and on the streets with Angel, I had pleased him and for a second I thought maybe I could actually stay here, maybe I could get by but that all changed when I was told by Angel this evening what Roman had in store for me tonight.