Worlds Away

chapter one

It's difficult to partake in the joy around you when you don't feel any of it. The smiles, cheers and celebration was just a meaningless noise to Alyssa, who sat opposite her friends, with her graduation cap and robe beside her. Endless pictures and plans were strewn across the table, all involving different activities, fulfilling bucket list, making new memories and spending their last few weeks together before they had to part for college.

The only thing missing in the celebration of graduation from the torturous years of high school was Alyssa's interest. She didn't understand why everyone made such a big deal of it, why everyone was so overly happy. Did they not know what followed? More endless nights of studying, more stress and mental breakdowns, working jobs they most likely would hate. Why celebrate any of it?

She sighed and tried to understand her friends. Naomi, usually called the most beautiful girl of the group, had more family problems than anyone could imagine. Her family had broken apart, slightly built back and recently, got torn apart even more. She still had not received a confirmed seat for a college, yet why did she seem so genuinely happy and at peace?

Sofia, the optimist of the group, spent years hating herself before learning to love herself and those around her. The amount of times she was admitted to the hospital for self- harm was countless yet now, over the years, she has changed to be a completely different person, and is always on the look-out to help others.

Amaya and Adrian, the couple of the group, were bullied through their middle school years and during some of their high school years too. Although they were not accepted by the student population and almost got into dangerous situations as well as almost getting expelled, they stuck by each other's sides and made it through the storm.

And then there's me. My life is okay enough if I'm to be honest. I have loving and supportive friends, a family that cares enough about me, adequate grades and currently two guys wanting to go out with me. Comparatively, I have had it a lot better than the rest of my friends and yet, I am miserable. People look at me as ungrateful, spoilt and a buzzkill. I try not to let my misery get to me, or to let others know about it much and it's really quite simple once you get used to it. Having drama lessons as a kid has helped me smile and laugh more without meaning any of it.

"Alyssa! What are you doing there alone? Come here for the selfie!" Sofia shouts across the room now. I didn't even notice when they moved away to the other side of the room, obsessed with filling up their phone galleries with endless pictures. She glares at me when I don't move, making me quickly get up to go join them. You don't want an angry Sofia on your case, you really don't.

"Okay fine, I'm here and my smile is bigger than all of yours!" I say mockingly, using my index fingers to stretch the corners of my lips upwards into an exaggerated smile. They roll their eyes and proceed with taking pictures, this time an almost genuine smile taking over my face.

From the corner of my eyes, I notice Alec stealing glances at me yet I steadily ignore them. I feel no post- awkwardness of turning him down just yesterday although for some reason, it's still not enough to get his eyes off me. Don't get me wrong, Alec is in fact, a very nice guy. The problem from what I see is, he's a bit... too nice. I don't know if it's just my usual habit of making bad decisions or if he's just not right for me. Alec is the epitome of 'the nice guy' with his politeness, chivalry, affectionate habits and so on. He's got a medium build, a few inches taller than me and a perfectly tanned complexion. However, I don't give him much thought, he'll get over it and we'll forget this ever happened soon enough.

I'm taken by surprise when I feel a hand on my back and am about to smack it off me when I realise it's Darius, the one guy I had my eyes on for months, who's suddenly here for me now. This only gets more stereotypical when I describe Darius as a 'bad boy' with his habit of constantly skipping class, smoking various substances and always finding him with a cigarette in his mouth, swearing a lot, being rude to almost everyone, rides a bike and to complete the bad boy look, almost always has a black leather jacket on. It's a surprise he managed to graduate. But that doesn't matter much to me right now, he's attractive to me either way.