Au Revoir || l.s.

disparu

disparu : gone [French]

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Dear Louis,

I know that you'll never read this and that you don't care, but I miss you. You're gone. Gone! I miss you. You were always here, and now you're gone. What the fuck? Why in hell did you have to leave me? It hurts Lou, it really fucking hurts. You said you'd always be here, that you'd never leave. But now you're gone. You fucking left me.

Why? I don't know. You didn't really tell me. But you're gone. Damn you. Why don't you care about me anymore? Is this my fault?

Liam came by today. I know you hate him, but he loved you. I wish you guys could've been friends. Anyway, he brought take out and a few movies. He brought one of your favorites, 'Lolita'. Remember? You love that movie. It's so adorable when you're just talking about it. Or at least it was.

Why did you leave? Seriously. You've ruined me.. again. Like the last time, but worse. I was so fucking pissed at you. He wasn't even that attractive, and yet you just had to have his dick up your ass. Filthy pigs, the both of you. What was his name? Allen? No! Ashton. My best friend from grade nine? Yeah, that fucker. That was clever, Lou. I'll give you that one; you really didn't think I'd find out? Ha.

I'm alone, Louis. So fucking alone. All because you're gone. You left. I love you, Louis. I loved you. But you obviously didn't love me. Where they lies? Every time you told me you loved me? The midnight sex, the kisses, the sweet nothing's; all lies? You told me you'd never lie to me. That you'd never betray me. You promised. So why the fuck did you? What have I done to deserve this much pain?

So wherever or whomever the fuck you ran of to, have a nice life, jackass.

You're fucking gone. It's hard to fathom. I was in awe of you. Of your utter perfection. You're everything... just you. Fuck. I miss you Louis. Boo bear. Ugh. Come home baby.

I'm so sad, yet I'm so fucking pissed at you that I can't breathe right. I can't even see straight.

Liam's worried. He thinks I'll develop depression. Whatever. That's all shit. He worries too much. Then again, he always did. Especially about you. Now I see why.

Where did you run off to? Where could you have gone? Obviously not your mum's; that bitch hates you. Your sisters are forbidden to be around you. Gemma sure as hell won't speak to you. What are you doing? Where the fuck are you?

I'm scared. I'm alone. I'm sad. I'm angry. How does one person make another feel this way? Because it's hell. Absolute, utter hell.

If this was my fault, then sorry. But you did this. You left. Not me. This one's on you. Not me. Right?

Always yours, Harry.