Proffessor Smith (MadHowler does not own Doctor Who or Harry Potter)

Here he comes

In the Great Hall, Dumbledore had been explaining about champions and the Triwizard Cup, when there was a banging. Everyone looked over to the door. The noise sounded again, the loud boom of something at the door, trying to get in. The proffessors stood up, their wands drawn. The doors flew open-

"Wow! It is absolutely pouring out there! You wouldn't believe how soaked i am after only a few minutes in the rain! It's freezing!" A lean man in a suit and tie, wearing a trench coat and converse sneakers stood in the doorway, completely soaked and shivering, with the brightest smile they'd seen. He closed the door behind him, fixing his hair speedily and turning to face the teachers.

Everyone stared.

The man tilted his head, looking curious. "Bit quiet for the Hogwarts Great Hall, isn't it?"

Snape stood up. "Barty Crouch."

The man looked confused. "What?"

"Bartemius Crouch Junior!"

"What?"

"How did you get in here?"

"But-"

"Why are you here!?"

"WHAT!?"

Mad-Eye Moody stood up. "Arrest him!"

"Arrest me?"

"Yes, dark wizard scum!"

The students looked at each other. The man looked at Moody, seeming offended.

"Oi! I haven't done a single thing wrong. You only just met me; don't make accusations. And don't call me 'dark wizard scum'; it's rude and completely inaccurate. I am obviously sarcastic genius scum."

"What would you prefer i call evil wizards like you?" He glared.

"First off, you can call me Smith; John Smith. Second, i'm not evil and never will be. Third, I'm obviously not this Crutch fellow or whatever his name is-"

"Crouch."

"Right. Whatever. Fourth, did I mention i'm dripping wet and freezing cold?"

"You li-"

"Alastor." Dumbledore stopped him, "Mr. Smith, come here please. As for the students, off to bed."

Reluctantly, the students left the scene in the Great Hall and went off to their dorms.

The Doctor walked up to the proffessors, cautious. "Anymore accusations for me, Moody?"

Snape grabbed him by the arm. "How did you get in here, Crouch!?"

"I used the door, and my name's still not Crouch!" He yanked his arm back, "I'm not having as much fun here as I'd thought I would."

Dumbledore spoke gently, "Perhaps it would be best to discuss this in my office. Proffessor Snape, Mr. Smith."

They walked off, into the office past the gargoyle. The Doctor's face lit up once more with wonder and awe, and he immediately started looking around, touching and messing with everything, seeming amazed. "This is amazing! Living paintings and so many things; so many wonderful things!" He was like a kid in a candy shop.

Snape yanked the Doctor's arm back and pulled up his sleeve roughly.

"Ow! Oi, not so rough!"

Snape looked confused. "Nothing. There's nothing."

"What, were you expecting to find the answers to the O.W.L.'s? A butterfly? A scar?"

"Give me your other arm."