Here We Go I Guess

If I Looked Into Your Fridge Right Now, What Would I Find?

A bundle of fingers in the vegetable drawer, a severed arm or two (fingerless, of course). If you come around on a weekend maybe I'll even have a severed head lying around (earless, of course, I don't like the dead listening in on my thoughts). Oh! don't forget the milk that's two weeks past it's expiration date. That's not rotting flesh you smell, it's spoiled dairy.
Sometimes I keep a pint of blood in the side drawer, especially during the winter months. You never know when you won't be able to get a meal. I think I might also have some grapes in the freezer. There's no better way to pass the time than throwing them at unsuspecting pedestrians who walk underneath my fire escape. Their reactions are hilarious. All, 'oh my god a floating bag of grapes! That laughing, where is it coming from? Helen it's a ghost! Grab the kids and run!' I'm dying of laughter just thinking about it. Well, technically, I'm already dead, but whatever.