Rose-Colored Boy {Matsuhana} [One-Shot]

『Daffodil』

"Mattsun, you know how you're always asking me about my tattoo? I think I'm finally ready to tell you." Within less than a second, Mattun's head jolted up from his phone as he jumped onto the bed, his face only centimeters from my face. "Really?" I giggled and nodded before pecking his soft lips. "Really."

"Just don't make a big deal about it."

"Too late." Mattsun was out the door and probably somewhere in the kitchen, that's when I heard the microwave's distinct beeps and the sounds of pops. The smell of popcorn and melted butter filled our house. Mattsun came back with a bowl of popcorn, a liter of mountain dew, and family sized bag of Doritos. As I was about to start my story, Mattsun hoped on the bed and began to obnoxiously open the bag of Doritos. For some reason, the wimp struggled to open it, resulting in me losing my patience and opening it for him. He smiled sweetly before kissing my forehead. "Thanks my love." I blushed once again and tried to start my story all over again. He of course interrupted me by opening the stupid green bottle of Mountain Dew. "Ok now you're just doing it on purpose." I pushed him ever so slightly, minding our precious white sheets. Mattsun laughed before kissing me once again. "Continue."

"Alright then. It was our senior year of high school."

...

I was a naive boy who was madly in love with his oblivious best friend. His name was Mattukawa Issei. Oh how I loved everything about him. His personality, his looks, the tiny things he did that only I seemed to notice. He was perfect. I was so happy–so lucky to have a guy like him in my life.

Unfortunately I always secretly had a low self esteem. Questions began to pop into my head.

Why would such a perfect boy want anything to do with a boy who only seemed to be filled with flaws?

What if Mattsun only hung out with me because he pitied me?

How long will it take before Mattsun realizes that I'm not good enough?

What if Mattsun leaves me?

With every question that I asked myself, the more discouraged I became to ask him out. I began to tell myself that all I needed was his friendship, as long as he didn't leave me, I'd be fine. Oh how wrong I was. Every night I'd drown in a pool of my very own tears. All that ever seemed to run through those late hours was my beloved Mattsun and how he'd never love me back. I'd stare out the window and stargaze. Watching the night skies always seemed to be the only thing that'd soothed me, temporarily of course.

You know how in the movies the girl suffers from an unrequited love and she ends up getting over the bastard guy and finding someone better? The movies always get it wrong, Mattsun was the perfect guy, he just didn't love me that's all. You know another movies thing they lie about? The amount of pain you get from one sided love. In the movies it only seems to be a frown and a single shedding of a tear. If only it were that easy. I remember there were just some days that my heart would ache so much that I'd refused to go to school. Other days I felt like jumping out of my window, the pain was just too much.

One day I woke up determined, I told myself that I'd confess to the love of my life after graduation, we were going to the same college after all. I had it all planned, after the ceremony I'd give him a silver bracelet and confess my feelings. For what seemed like the millionth time, I backed out of the confession. I couldn't bare the thought of him leaving me. I'd rather have him with me than away from me, even if it meant he wasn't with me with me. I still gave him the bracelet though, he gave me a moon and star piercing, knowing how I wanted to peruse astronomy in college. Oh how my heart fluttered at how well he knew my interests. I only fell deeper in love.