To My Dear Authors

Dear Authors

Hello! Kai here, please stay till the end.

You authors all just love to see me freaking out over the slightest thing that your characters make. Whether it be tracing circles on the palm of the partner's hand, getting shot, planting a flower, running into a table, getting hit by a car, crash landing into a pool of gelatin, running their hands through their hair, space FedExing someone to a planet, a kiss, a word, getting drunk, being kidnapped, blinking, having sex, killing someone, shooting someone, or even beating God on the head with a stick, forgetting about a scene or a word or something that was said, or other things, you all just love making me anxious and stressed over your characters. The heartbreak that you put your characters through makes me feel as if I'm the one getting their heart broken.

Goddammit, you all bring me to tears out of frustration, you make me laugh so hard I can't breath, confuse the hell out me to the point where I forget my own name (props to you), angry and mad to the point where I want to throw/slam the phone into the wall as hard as I can but I don't because I so badly want to keep reading, irritate the crap out of me making me scream into a pillow out of frustration, you make me squeal and scream out of excitement and happiness, you make me disappointed, you rile me up to the point of punching something (my hands are safe, it's cool) you guys make me uneasy to the point I feel nauseous, you make me nervous, you all frighten and excite the crap out of me making my heart skip more than a few beats which is definitely not healthy, you excite me to the point where I'm rolling off of things that I'm laying down on and send me straight to the floor and or into other objects and still have me rolling because I'm so happy, you make me so happy I run around my house screaming "Fuck Yeah! YESSSSS!!!". You authors have me so absorbed into your books that I run into things more than I usually do (which is a lot, in someone's defence), you have me slamming my head into some sort of hard-usually flat surfaced-object out of frustration or irritation, you guys are the reason my brother runs away from me when I motion for him to come or give me a hug (I squeeze the life out him thanks to you guys for all of the emotions), you make me cry sometimes (props to you who've done so I don't cry that often), you make tears well in my eyes out of anger, sadness, happiness or joy.

You guys play and toy and mess with my heart by squeezing it, poking it, bouncing it, tossing it in the air, cooing at it, giving it false hope and then crushing that hope, giving it joy and other feels and many other ways that you all play with my heart. You all just love messing with my heart and its emotions. You bring me laughter, you bring me joy, you bring me emotional pain, give me positive and negative moods, you make me curse worse than a sailor for many different reasons, you make me reminiscent, you help me forget about some things, you teach me lessons through your books, you bring me physical pain (when I fall off things), you bring me laughter, frustration, anger and embarrassment, you bring out the gentle side of me, you bring out the ruthless and uncaring side of me, you make me say deep things sometimes too, you bring the ever present idiot inside of me out too. You also sometimes make me talk about my life and my problems (I do it on my own but something in your books lead me to put it down as a comment), you make me uneasy, bring out the selfish side of me, you make me nervous, you aggravate me, you make me speechless, you bring up the jealous parts of me too sometimes, you make me show my ugly side sometimes, something makes me share my pas with you all sometimes for some reason, you bring out so many different parts of me and evoke so many different emotions from me.

You guys pull on parts of me that I never even knew existed and even help me get to know myself a little bit better. You bring out all these emotions and other different parts of me be it big or small from me and you do something and you show it to me.

Damn authors, getting me all emotional. You evoke so many feelings and emotions, you teach me lessons, you've shown me to think things through before I do anything, you bring out and show so many different parts of me, some that I didn't even know existed, and you give me so many different and new experiences.