Protection: A Fairy Tail Fanfiction

Chapter Seven: Conversation

"The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard." ― William Hazlitt

CHAPTER VII: Conversation

"SO, how did you become the most evil mage ever?"

Zeref glanced over at Natsu, who was staring at the night sky determinedly. He looked back up at the stars, wondering how he was going to explain just how sad he had been without making Natsu feel guilty or responsible.

But... he had been the root of it. Natsu had been the one who had set his choices into motion, though it certainly was never his fault. No. The blame rested solely on Zeref. Natsu's death had just been the igniting incident; the trigger – he'd always had the possibility to go down that path.

"Would you believe me if I told you it was because I wanted to die?" He asked. Natsu snorted.

"I can, actually."

Zeref smiled a little—he'd been smiling so much more lately, oddly enough— and pillowed his arm underneath his head.

"Okay, fine. You have a point there." He sighed, sobering. "I made a lot of mistakes, Natsu, so many that I've lost count of them. Horrible, despicable mistakes..."

"Zeref."

He met Natsu's eyes, locking their gazes together. "No, Natsu. I'm serious. I know I'm not bad, or good, but I've done so many horrible things, that the shame practically suffocates me each and every day. I don't want you to ever try to do anything remotely similar to what I've done, because... I don't want you to live like I do."

Natsu blinked, and then he smiled softly. "Zeref, I'm a fire mage, remember? I can't mess with life or death magic or any of that." You'd be surprised, he thought though he didn't say it out loud. Every mage had the capacity to access those magics through the One Magic. "But if I could, I wouldn't. Part of being human is making mistakes, we're not perfect after all, but we can also learn from them."

He snorted. "I guess that makes you more human than I am."

Natsu rolled his eyes and sat up, crossing his legs Indian style. "Okay. We really need to work on your self-image issues sometime." He said. "Seriously. It's terrible, bro."

Bro? He wondered, then decided to just go with it. "I can't really help it though." He admitted. "It's as much a part of me as your love to fight is."

Natsu frowned slightly. "Okay, fine. We're just going to have to teach you how to reign it back."

Zeref rolled his eyes. "Okay, back on track with the original question. So, the reason I went completely insane is..." It's not because of you, but your death set me down that road. "because I made some poor choices. The worst was making a deal with Ankhseram to..." He trailed off, realizing that this would only make him feel guilty. Natsu's eyes softened slightly and he stared at him.

"To bring me back to life, wasn't it?" He dropped his gaze and played with the edges of his coat. Zeref noticed they were becoming frayed. "Yeah, about that... I kinda owe you an apology, don't I?"

Zeref frowned. "No, you don't. You weren't the one-" who told me to bring you back to life, was what he wanted to say. But Natsu's stare made the denial die in the back of his throat, fizzling out and fading from the tip of his tongue. 

There was something in his stare that was older, something incredibly similar to the look his younger brother would wear at times when they were both children. Many people had called Zeref the genius, but to be honest, Zeref had always thought Natsu was smarter than he was. There were other things more important than books and cleverness after all, and Natsu had grasped that so much easier and quicker than he had. Like friendship and being loyal -- besides, Natsu certainly was never dumb. He'd picked up fire magic like a fly to honey.