Take Me Home (Revised)

Chapter Sixteen: Ely

     "I'm sure she'll be down any minute now." Hayley's mother assured, as the antique clock above the marble stairwell ticked yet another half hour of my life away. Hayley said she'd be ready by seven o-clock. Well, it was eight-thirty and I was not amused. Of course I had to ask her to the dance. I mean, if I were to show up with another girl, then maybe Brei would finally realize how much she needs me. And also maybe get a little jealous. I wasn't one for scheming like girls do, but I was banking on how, seeing how Hayley looks at school, she'll probably be gorgeous for an event like this. And how despite how much it killed me to not be picking Brei up for this dance right now, this had to work in the end. I nearly gagged thinking of what Jake would be doing to her tonight. Not that she'd let much happen, but at least that dipshit had a chance at her.

     "My prince shall wait no more, for his princess has arrived!" Hayley's earsplitting voice crowed from up the stairs. Finally.

And I was regretting this already.

She appeared at the top of the stairs in a mound of cotton candy. How she was going to dance without her boobs falling out of the low low-cut neckline let alone getting down the stairs in the indescribably huge skirt was way beyond me. I was banking on Brei being jealous of a hoe that looked like she fell into the candy maker at the carnival.

But, I didn't say anything, because if I did, it wouldn't be nice, and what was left of my plan to win Brei back would go down the drain. As she tugged herself down the staircase, her face became clearer, not that the pounds of thick black eyeliner needed clearing up.

     "Like what you see?" she asked, grabbing my ass, after finally getting down the stairs and planting a glob of lipstick on my cheek.

     "I'd steer clear of ceiling fans." I warned, gesticulating to her humongous updo. Standing next to me with that hair made her taller than me, though she was a half of a head shorter than me any other day. This comment incited a witch-like cackle from Princess Peach as her mom snapped about a thousand pictures of us, blinding me before I was supposed to drive us to the venue.

     "Ready to go get dinner?" Lady GlitterBoobs asked, jumping up and down in her three inch gold heels. I raised my wrist to check my watch.

     "We missed our reservations, we'll just have to go straight to the dance." I groaned. We were going to eat at Luigi's something or other, if Queen Cotton Candy had gotten her way anyway. But I couldn't stand that place. It was so richy and fancy and portion sizes were really tiny. I suggested Wei Hai's Chow Hall. Delicious chinese cuisine for a decent price. She was not thrilled about the change. She didn't take forever getting ready on purpose?

     "Oh, bummer!" Duchess Pepto sighed. She may be in the school play, but she was no actress. She was less than devastated we missed part of our evening.

     "You two better get going, then! Have fun!" her mother patted my back and kissed the beehive atop her daughter's head, walking us to the door.

     "Bye, Mom! I love you!" Bubblegum Barbie called back as I stuffed the next hunk of her skirt into the passenger side of my car. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it all in there. My fingers fumbled for the handle on the seat, found it, and sent her squealing back away from the dash, giving me more room to stuff her skirt in.

     "Come on! We're going to be late!" Pinkie Pie yelled as I ran around to my side of the car. I clicked my seatbelt, and slammed the door.

     "Buckle your...nevermind." I wasn't even going to try that. If we crashed, the tulle would keep her from flying through the windshield. Though, I wouldn't mind destroying that dress in a crash GTA style. I hit the gas and we finally left the house. She reached up to the radio and clicked on 103.2. The eighties station.