my young years

to the boy i used to admire

whenever you smile and laugh, it makes me light up with happiness.
your eyes were so intricately fascinating to me.
how they glistened like the deep blue waves in the dark, but in the light they shone, oh how they shone, like the sun reflecting off of rolling green hills.
whenever you held my hand I felt like I was on top of the world.
whenever your name popped up on my phone from a new text, my heart jumped and churned.
i adored the potential in you.
but, you never saw it in yourself.
i saw all that you could be, in the future.
a leader, a father, a kind human being.
to say that I loved you though, was a far stretch.
i loved what I potentially saw.
what we could have been. how we could have been. what we never were and what we never will be.
when you told me you loved me i was scared.
i was scared because I was young.
i never said it back to you.
and I didn't know what love was.
but it turns out, neither did you.