settle down // josh dun {2}

t w o

PLEASE DON'T LOOK FOR ME; DON'T STARE AT ME IN A TRAP OF SOLITUDE SOMEONE SET FOR ME

--Declan's P.O.V--

I wasn't normal. I was totally far from the definition of normal for various of reasons. I did things and felt things that people shouldn't; that people my age shouldn't.

Ice hockey was a game that I enjoyed the moment I first hit the ice two and a half years ago. I was great at it and when I played it, I felt like nothing else in the world existed. All my problems magically disappeared the moment my feet hit the cold surface of the rink.

However, before Oakville hockey games started, I always seemed to feel different. I was never excited to go out onto the ice. I was never excited to play the game I absolutely adored. I wasn't exactly sure what I felt before every game, but it was something that seemed like fear; maybe even a little nervousness.

It was strange to experience a feeling like that over a game that I enjoyed. I was competitive. I wanted to win. I always wanted to win; to prove that I was better, but a voice in the back of my head told me I wasn't. I wasn't better than any of the other hockey players. I never was going to prove that I was better than everyone else because I wasn't.

Maybe I was just a failure. Maybe my teammates were just waiting to see me crash and burn. Maybe the entire school was waiting for me to crash and burn.

My thoughts were interrupted by none other than Parker Axton. "Ready for the game, my dude?" he asked, plopping down beside me the floor of the locker room.

"I'm always ready, Parker." My words were mumbled due to the guard that was in my mouth.

The dark-haired boy next to me raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure you're ready? You don't look ready."

"I'm fine," I replied.

"I don't ask if you were fine," Parker told me. "I asked if you were ready."

I turned my head to look at him. "And I told that I was!"

The team captain rolled his eyes before climbing to his feet. "Alright, guys," he called to the rest of the team. "Game starts in five minutes. We need to be out of this locker room right now so the announcer can introduce us, alright?"

I quickly climbed to my feet, my hand wrapping around my hockey stick as I followed my teammates out of the locker room.

I was greeted by screams from the crowd and just the loudness from everybody talking. I was so focused on the crowd that I almost didn't notice that it was my turn to enter the rink.

"Declan Gray!"

Once the announcer said my name, I stepped onto the ice and skated out towards my teammates. I came to a stop next to Parker.

He touched my back, but I didn't even bother to look at him. I stared right ahead at the crowd, my eyes never moving.

Hockey was my thing; it was my calling. My teammates were counting on me to win this game. I had to keep our winning streak alive because it was my responsibility to do so.

If didn't, I was worth nothing.

•••

"You scored the winning shot!" Derek yelled, yanking me off of my feet and lifting me into the air as we all hit the locker room. "We won!"

All the players were screaming and shouting as they shoved one another in happiness. I knew that before I changed clothes and left the locker room, I would have a migraine from the loudness.