This Isn't Real

A/N So this is when Tris is shot, but Tobias got back in time to say goodbye. She's in the hospital right now, and unless stated this is from Tobias' POV

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The light is slowly leaving her eyes. I squeeze her hand harder.

"Please Tris," I beg her, "Stay with me. Please." She just looks at me sadly. She lifts her head up And kisses me. "I love you." She says against my lips, then her head falls back down and she closes her eyes. I feel all the life drain out of her hand.

Tris is dead. My Tris. My selfless, intelligent, brave Tris. She showed all of her factions saving her brother, I realize.

I laugh a little. The love of my life is dead, and THAT'S the first thing I think of?

The laugh quickly fades into a sob.

Why did she have to go!? Why couldn't she have let that traitor she calls a brother go!? I know the answer, but I don't want it to be true.

Even if he betrayed her, even if he betrayed her family, he was still her brother. Her only family.

But I was her family too. I promised her I was. She told me she loved me. Why? Why have a family that loves you, that you love back, a family that will always be here for you, then go to your death? I still know the answer. And I still don't want it to be true.

She was too selfless. She always had been. Even if she said she was too 'selfish' for Abnegation, I saw it, and qeveryone else saw it. It was one of those things I loved about her.

But sometimes it was one of those things I both loved and hated about her. If she had just let herself be a little selfish, just let herself think of all those awful things he did to her, she might still be here.

No she wouldn't. I know that. And she probably did think about all those things he did to her. And still, she went to her death.

As I think this, I start to scream, but it comes out like a small moan. I can't let go of her hand. I feel like if I squeeze her hand hard and long enough, some light will come back to her eyes, some color will come back to her cheeks.

But I know it won't happen. She's cheated death so many times, and it finally caught her.

I feel the tears coming, and for once, I don't care at all. I drop her hand and press my palms to my face. I do care. No one but Tris has seen me cry, and no one ever will.

I look back at her lifeless body.

I just want one more... Everything. One more day. One more word. One more glance, one more hug, one more kiss.

The tears are coming faster now, and I fall to the ground, my head leaning against the wall, my hands covering my eyes. I let out a sob.

Then, I wake up.