Where the Dreams Blow (On Hold)

1| Thoughts from the Past

Monologue

"Why do you look like that?"

"Look like what"

"You.. you look funny.. You're too thin!"

"Yeah! She's too thin and she's ugly!"

"She doesn't look like us so she can't play with us!"

"Fine! I didn't wanna play your stupid game anyways! Hmph!"

I never understood why I was born the way I was. Ugly. Simple as that, nothing more nothing less. My mother always said "God didn't make you ugly, he made you in his image." Perfect was what she called me. I only believed she told me that because she was my mother and it was her job to tell me anything to make me happy. I never accepted compliments often because they were only given out rarely and were only temporary. I always saw myself as an outsider, like a flower that has grown out of the concrete except I'm not a flower but instead a weed. Yeah that's about right, a pesky weed that no one wants in there yard.

Yet I always knew I was 'Different', I just didn't think that it was so horrible. I never wanted to go to school because of it. It was like a disease everyone thought was contagious, like one sneeze would kill everyone. I never had real friends because of this 'disease' so I distanced myself from the world made my own little box. Isolation was the best medicine for me a daily dose I prescribed myself.

"Zee, why don't you go outside and play with the other kids? Aren't they your friends?"

"No mommy, they don't like me, they say I'm weird."

"Sure they like you, you're the sweetest child alive! What's not to like?"

"I don't know..."

I was ashamed to tell my own parent that the kids outside.. terrorized me? harassed me? bullied me? Yeah, try all of the above.They hated me. They hated everything about me, my hair, my skin, the clothes I wore, the way I acted, everything. One day, I dressed up extra nice just to impress them, it didn't work. They pushed me to the ground and laughed when I started to cry. That's the day I realized how cruel the world was. I realized, at a young age, that no one with every care about you the way you care about yourself.