From morning to night it's all a big fight
To rise above hate but its too damn late
Since age four I needed to be more
Never good enough, I play a good bluff
Comments I brush off but I'm dying fom a bad cough
Ew, whore, fat ass, and a bitch
Echoing in my head as I lie in bed
Every hurtful joke in my throat I choke
I scream and I thrash I'm nothing but trash
A world without me is everyone's dream
Ask father and mother they wished they had me smothered
Not needed, a waste, the demons seed
Awake with a cold sweat, why aren't I dead yet?
I pace back and forth as the blade glides North
The blood and pain not even sure I'm sane
Infested with scars, my brain blocked by bars
The pain, sadness, and anger release lowering the danger level
Feeling numb everything ease lying back down the episode seize...
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I have issues that a lot of people don't understand. They think I do it for attention, or to fit in or simply because I am sick in the head (which maybe I am Idk...). Certain ppl cant just laugh at words they know arent true, some ppl think they must be true if someone u barely kno is telling u it y would they lie? I am one of those ppl I cant get words out of my head when I'm not doing something all I hear are all the bad words ive ever heard toward me. My mom screaming at me saying she wished she killed me before she gave me up to the system saying I was worth nothing and would end up a whore. My foster parents as they beat me, kids a school saying i was fat ugly ect. When the words wont shut up, i make them. i cut. ik its not the healthest way to deal with it but dont judge me for it. I wrote this hopin more ppl would understand an not judge me for it.
