❝Good people are like candles. They burn themselves up to give others light.❞
order of the phoenix » deathly hallows
plot credit: vioietends
amandla fitzgerald stand alone
cover by lokidyinginside
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CHAPTER FIFTEEN. HOW LIFE IS NOW
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Amandla didn't know why (actually, she did, but shush), but every night that summer she found herself with a bottle of liquor from the kitchen and oncoming dreams that would never become a reality. She took a swing of the alcohol, grimacing at the bitter taste, drowning her sorrows and wanting to forget.
The cycle never stopped. No matter how many times she thought about Cevira, what she would think, or of her parents, she never did. The two house elves that Anastasia had employed after moving back into the house after summer with the Order knew better than to complain anymore – not after her threats. She had said, quite sternly with a little slur, that she would give them an item of her own clothing if they ever tried to complain about her habits again. That shut them up quickly, Amandla felt a little guilt for what she had done, but her drunken mind told her not to sorry.
She sat against the closed door, silence surrounding her as Cevira snored quietly and the Fitzgerald girl stared at the dark scene, only lifting her arms to capture her mouth with the bottle. Breathing out, she could faintly smell the putrid breath the alcohol had given her, waiting for the grimace of leave herself before continuing again.
There was only the sound of Cevira's snores comforting her, but if you removed that, she would be alone in the room with just silence. Maybe, if she were truly alone without a sleeping girl, a record would be playing, not that she would concentrate on the lyrics. But, alas, she wasn't alone.
There was a little fire inside her as the buzz of the alcohol let her thoughts fade, freeing her from the stress they usually caused her. In soberness, she usually thought of her family. She had grandparents she had never met, on both sides, and for a good reason, but she still wondered if they were alive or not. Probably the latter, quite honestly. And then there was her mother.
Her mother...well, and father. But forgetting him for the moment, she always thought of her mother and the spell book, which she no longer had in her possession anymore. After the battle last year, and the revelation of her lineage and the spells, Dumbledore had asked her to hand over the spell book 'for the good of the Order.' Of course, Amandla didn't want to. Not because she didn't support their cause, but because it was one of the last things she had of her parents. But in the end, Dumbledore's persuasive words won and they book no longer belonged to the King/Fitzgerald family, but the Order of the Phoenix.
But back to the spells. She often thought of her mother and the counter-curse for the killing curse. Of course she had to know about, so why hadn't she used it when she was being killed? Why would she leave Amandla an orphan? Unless, she wanted to die...
No, not that. It couldn't be that, she didn't think she could handle it if that were the truth. Gwendolyn, her mother, had to have wanted to live – not for herself, but at least for her daughter. Like everything she had done, like running away from her home.
