Flayer

51. Edda

Jon Snow refused to leave me.

For five months he'd come to see me every night, and no matter where we were in the North my tent was always put right next to his. While my older sister didn't have as much time on her hands as Jon did, she did visit as often as she was capable. However I knew the real reason she didn't come to see me as often is because of how much it pained her to see what Ramsay had done to me. Not just my scars, not just that he had made me love him... but that I was carrying his child once again.

I had lost track of time. How many months had it been? The only way I could tell time for certain was my belly growing larger every day. Jon had informed me that Sansa suggested finding a healer to help me abort as soon as possible, for why should I carry any more of this monster's children. Though he never said it I knew Jon agreed with her, and he thought I was too young and feeble for birth- especially after hearing how difficult and dangerous Erika's birth was. But he refused to tell me he felt this way, the only thing he said was "It's not my choice to make. It is only yours."

Davos Seaworth did come to see me often as well, almost as often as Jon. I knew I should hate him for taking me away from Ramsay but he was a kind man. He had a collection of very nice books, books he claimed Princess Shireen used to teach him how to read, that he'd bring so that I was less bored. And he'd go out of his way to bring me the food I craved.

I had to remind myself from time to time that Ramsay was looking for me. No matter what Jon claimed about me I belonged to Ramsay, and they'd stolen me away from him. He was going to murder my siblings for doing so, and he was going to take me back.But oh it was nice to pretend I was safe.

________

"Ser Davos!"

Jon called before entering my tent where the old man and I were eating trout with carrots. My brother smiled weakly as he said "Lady Sansa needs you."

Davos got up, bidding me a farewell "I'll be sure to visit you in the morning Lady Edda."

"Afternoon," I begged, "I would love to sleep in."

He nodded, leaving the tent.

Jon sighed, rubbing his neck. "War is tiring."

"And unnecessary," I mumbled.

He walked over to my bed, opening it and fluffing the pillow for me. "It's bedtime." He signaled.

I rolled my eyes. "Jon, I'm nineteen-"

"You're twenty." He corrected. With sorrowful eyes he sat on the opened bed, "Your birthday was three months ago."

Not knowing how to react I took a sip of my water. Jon almost got up to help me off my seat but I shooed him away, wobbling to the bed to sit down.

My brother rested his hand on my belly, smiling softly. "What will you name the baby?"

"Roderick if it's a boy," I grinned when I remembered Ramsay wanted that name, "I'm not sure what I'll name her if it's a girl."

"Jeyne," Jon suggested.

"Perhaps," I nodded, looking down at my feet as I said "But I think the child's father should help me decide."

"Perhaps she could be a fatherless child?"

"You know how terrible it is to not know one of your parents," I pointed out, "Why would you wish that on a baby?"

He clenched his jaw. He knew we were going to argue again. "It would be so much better than having Ramsay as a father."

"Ramsay's a good father," I said, "He's a loving husband-"

Jon pulled on my arm firmly. He rolled up the sleeve of my dress. "Look at it." Flayer. "Why would he do this to you if he is so good?"

My eyes watered. It was hard to be strong when pregnant. "I n-never said good! I don't want a good husband, I don't want a good man, I want Ramsay. He loves me-"

"HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU!"

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" I pushed him, "YOU DON'T KNOW ALL THE THINGS HE DOES FOR ME. THE THINGS HE DOES DO KEEP HIS WIFE HAPPY!"

"YOU HAVE AN R ON YOUR FACE! YOU'RE HIS PROPERTY!" He snapped as he grabbed my arms, squeezing them until they were red. When I whimpered he let go. Breathing heavily and looking at the marks he'd left he begged. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry-"

"No," I mumbled, "Do not be."

Jon stroked my face, covering the R with his thumb a he gazed into my eyes. "You deserved better. You deserved so much better than this."

I wiped away my tears, laughing it off "How do you know what I deserve?"

"Because no one deserves this. No one deserves to be so used to abuse that they confuse it with love."

I stayed silent, thinking about what he'd said. Meanwhile he took me into his arms. "You don't need him. I know you think you do, because however twisted he's the only kindness you've known for years. You'll let go of him. You'll heal."

My sobs took me by surprise as I cried into his chest. I cried not because I missed Ramsay, though part of me undoubtedly did. Not because I needed to see my little girl again, though I'd do anything to see her again. Not because I was trapped in this tent with no other company than my brother and an old smuggler at times, for they were not bad company...

I cried because I was safe. I cried because I did not have to be at the mercy of my beloved anymore. The little games I'd played when I first met him did not have to be played anymore. Jon was here, and he cared for me. And I was afraid that would be taken from me once more.

"H-He'll kill you f-for this, Jon," I gasped for air. "H-he'll kill you if he finds me-"

His fingers intertwined with my hair. "Shh... No, he will not," he promised, "I'll kill him."