BOYS

BY THE POOL

My eyes so clogged with chlorine water, burning and stinging— I swore it was nothing compared to your acidic words that took me by the tongue and twisted my teeth until my mouth turned black and blue. I let the cold water rush over my stringy hair. I wish it was warm, I do. I didn't care. I had no idea when I stopped.
Drowning, but I only couldn't swim when I was with you. I'd be latched onto your arm and suddenly I my legs were kicking but I kept sinking. I had a fucking chain tied to my ankle and you had the key.
One day I finally gave up and sat at the bottom. I wasn't breathing, but I was alive. Sun filtered rays swept over my hair that cooled around the bubbles coming from my nose and mouth.
It was calm.
It was dark.
I could not see the sun rays, I could not hear the water gently splashing against the sides.
I was in a shipwreck in an ocean storm, thunder and lighting— I saw a fire on the deck. I kept swimming toward the surface but all I faced was the reef at the bottom. Riptides and whirlpools, I couldn't hear a
thing except the breathe that had escaped my throat, lost in the violent waves.

I now sit by the pool.
I lay out in the heat and let the sun rays soak up my bones, and boil them until the ground lets me in.
I dip my feet into the shallows.

I will not face the currents anymore.