Will you show me the way?

I feel so unstable,
Too many emotions are there,
Bubbling over,
Waiting for cool air,
Waiting for that cool air
To blow, blow them away
Into oblivion,
As if they were never there.

I want to forget
All those good times we shared,
The cute conversations,
Not pictures I teared,
The look in your eyes as you finally knew,
What was buried beneath me,
And what made my day special was when you never withdrew,
Instead, you cuddled me tight,
All the way through the long, lonely night.

But thinking like this,
It makes me cry,
As all those good things
Are followed by goodbye,
Those beautiful things
They make me want to die
Over and over,
All in my head
Making me sober
as I slip into bed.

Don't feel sorry though,
This way my fault,
It was me who unscrewed that hefty bolt,
The bolt that trusted you,
Who loved you beyond,
The one that held us together,
For not even that long,
The bolt that now separates us
Looks me in the eye
Teasing and taunting,
As I wait to die.

As I wait to die,
I ponder in thought, should i remember what primary school taught?
All 'bout religion
And Jesus and God,
I've tried that already,
I'm an actual sod.
I've pleaded and prayed
And sung and had faith,
Yet when I needed him most
I felt it too late,
He abandoned and left me
And turned me away,
Oh, oh please God wont you show me the way?

Please give me a sign
For you are so divine,
And I know when I ask
The worst that can happen,
Wont be the worst thing
That has ever happened to me.