The Paintbrush

The wood

Once again, I walked through the hallway with the headphones concealing my ears. And once again, I had no music on. Constantly shifting from side to side, I finally plotted an escape plan from the lockers to the toilets and with careful measurement, I knew I could make it without anyone noticing me. But even with only 0.1% chance of someone noticing me, I was too over confident and one of the worst kids in school noticed me. Bryan.
"Hey girl, what are you listening to?" his voice banged in my head harder than a sledgehammer. I glared to his side to only see that his stupid group of friends were there, clenching on the stomachs with their mouths revealing their teeth in a hysterical matter. I couldn't hear them laughing due to the blockage from my headphones but it still hurt. It hurt a lot.

"Then what happened next?" She asked me, with her eyes gleaming into my soul like she controlled me. She had done this before and she wouldn't hesitate to do it again. This was her job. To see through me.
"I just went to class," I said, finally realising how fiddly my fingers had become. It's a habit. Something that my body tends to do when it gets nervous or scared. My eyes shifted from the floor to the chair and then to her face. She knew I was lying, it was written on her face.
"Listen, you are my patient and I need to do whatever I can to help you through this. I am your therapist and it is my duty to convince you to embrace yourself and get over whatever you're going through. So I ask you one more time, what happened next?"

After constantly ignoring Bryan, I glanced aside to a group of girls. The group of girls that everyone knew. The group of girls I wish I was part of. I wish this never happened, I wish I never remembered how lonely I am. It only lowers my self-esteem and whatever I do, I can't bring it back up. I wish I had more time to accomplish whatever I want even though I have no talent in anything. I'm just too alone.
"Earth to Griggy, hello, can your worthless brain understand me?" Bryan spat. Griggy was a humiliating nickname. All I did was accidentally say the headteacher's name wrong and now everyone calls me 'Griggy'. All this happens because I do something wrong. All I need to do is do one thing right and maybe, just maybe, I won't be so unimportant to everyone.
"Ey Bryan, let's go man, gotta catch up our training with Himms!" Exclaimed one of Bryan's friends. Relief washed over me as I saw the boys walk away. Finally. I was left alone. Too alone.

"And how did that truly make you feel?" She asked me again, forcing into my brain every time my eyes met hers. If only she knew how disturbing this was. She crossed her legs, becoming irritated with my constant unreliability. I can't trust anyone. I can't tell her, can I?
"It didn't make me feel anything," and once these words escaped my mouth, I heard another sigh. I'm probably the only person in this whole world to say that over a  million times. Even though I should ignore her reaction, it really hurts knowing she really can't stand me being so secretive. I can't help it. I can't trust anyone with my secrets. If they find out, they won't see what's coming...