Day 26

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So yesterday my mom got back from surgery.... She had made it through the night and early this morning she woke up and I had helped her with most the things she wanted to do. She kept saying she was tired so I let her take a nap..or atleast that's what I thought it was. About an hour into her "nap" she had died... They were unable to bring her back and then they called her time of death which was 5:50AM...About 2 hours later my grandparents came and picked me up from the hospital. When I figured that they both were asleep. I had self harmed for the first time in 3 months. I had used a bathroom razor which didn't work very well but it was enough to satisfy me. So now I'm here writing in my journal, reliving everything that happened. I can't really describe how I feel. I would say numb I guess. It doesn't feel real. Not at all. Anyways im going to try to get some sleep. Bye.

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