Kaitlyn's Journal

Day 30

I just wanted to write in this journal one last time before I go so here goes.. Ever since my mom died I've been numb but recently I've felt sadness, anger, guilt,fear, anxious, lonely,useless, pathetic and so many more things. I just can't do this anymore. I'm sorry everyone for disappointing you, but I can't be strong, I can't keep going. I'm sorry but this is the end for me. This is the end for Kaitlyn Stars. For anyone who is reading this, I'm sorry. I hope life has treated you better and will continue to do so. I guess I should finish this like any other journal entry I've made so here's how my day went. I got up this morning. Or more like a stayed in my bed, staring at the ceiling for 3 hours before I actually got up. Then I went to the bathroom and cut some more. Enough to cover both my arms. Then I walked into the kitchen where I found my grandparents. They eventually got me to eat something but right after I just puked it up. After that, my grandparents took me to see my therapist. I didn't talk any. I just stared at the ground the whole session. Thinking of everything that has been going on in the last month. Then on the way home I saw how the leaves were falling off the trees to where they looked dead. Then when we got home, it was about 8PM so my grandparents were going to sleep. I had plugged up my phone and put in some headphones and listened to music for a while then fell asleep on accident. When I had woke up, it was about 5AM and now I'm writing in this journal. But now, I have to leave, so goodbye.