Manhattan

18.

SNOW SETTLED OVER Manhattan, carpeting the streets and clinging to rooftops. The city looked like an unfinished painting, half the canvas still white, waiting for the artist's hand to return. Aidan felt as though a chapter in his life was coming to a close, everything shifting and changing. Benji and his family moved out, and though he would miss having them in his home, he was glad they were doing better. He met the man his mom was seeing. It would take some getting used to, but he was happy for her. And when he had been flipping through some old albums and come across photos of his father, it was not the all-consuming grief that washed over him, but a feeling of acceptance, and with it, relief. Finally, he realized, he had allowed himself to let go.

Now, he stood in silence, smiling slightly as Leah hugged Benji - it warmed his heart to see two of his most favourite people in the world embracing. Surrounding them, people bustled about on their usual business, unbeknownst to the fact that in just a few moments, Leah would be leaving.

She's leaving, he wanted to shout out at the city. She's leaving and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

She turned to him, and the slight half smile he'd managed to muster up disappeared. He found it hard to breathe suddenly. The full weight of what was happening seemed to hit him at that moment and he had to look away from her.

"Hey you," she said as she stepped up to him,  She smiled sadly. "This is really happening, isn't it?"

He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, but failed to speak up. Just when he felt as though he was about to start sobbing, Leah threw her arms around him, and he buried his face in her neck, breathing in her sweet scent. He thought back to the last few days since they had kissed. They hadn't taken it farther than that, though Aidan definitely had wanted to. But what would have been the point? It would only have resulted in heartbreak for them both. And he didn't want to try a long distance relationship, not when this was all so fragile and new. So they had enjoyed the little time they had together, and remained . . . well, not just friends. They were so much more than just friends.

He pulled back and wiped the tears from her face, and tucked her flying curls behind her ears. There was so much he wanted to say, but that would take years. Instead, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You know this isn't goodbye, right?"

He wanted her to say yes, wanted her to mean it, because he couldn't bear the thought of saying goodbye. Last night, they'd stayed up all night talking, lying side by side on the blanket they'd set up at the warehouse. He had watched the city lights caress her face, fallen asleep just as the sun began to rise, and when he woke up later, she was gone. The panic that had engulfed him in that moment had been unbearable, and he couldn't - wouldn't - go through that again.

"Of course it isn't," she replied swiftly. "We'll talk every night. And I'll come visit."

He nodded. "I have something for you." He reached into his backpack, pulling out a large leather photo album. "It was an assignment for my photography class, but I was able to get it back."

She took the album, then opened it. Aidan watched her face closely as she flipped through. They were pictures of Manhattan, but in the way Leah saw it, the way she'd taught him to see it. Closeups of the skyscraper windows reflecting the orange glow of the afternoon sunset, a mustard-yellow taxi winding its way through a sea of grey traffic, the flickering neon sign of a smoky jazz bar, the lights from the view of her rooftop, twinkling like someone had scattered a fistful of glitter over the city. She smiled up at him, tears in her eyes, and hugged the book to her chest. "I love it."

"I didn't want you to forget," he said simply.

She laughed, her voice thick with tears. "I won't. Thank you, Aidan." She pulled him into another hug, this one different than the countless others they'd shared, desperate and tight as they held onto each other fiercely. She pressed a kiss to his cheek. He touched the place where her lips had been as she pulled back, wiping away tears from her face and turned to her father, who had been waiting by their car.

"You ready to go, kiddo?" he asked. Leah passed him her suitcase, which he placed in the trunk. She opened the passenger door, album in one hand, then turned back to him one last time. There was really nothing more to say. Aidan took her in, trying to memorize every detail as she stood against the backdrop of the city, her curls flying in the wind. She raised her arm in a final goodbye, and he did the same. Her eyes were sad, but held a promise he knew was reflected in his own. 

Maybe this wasn't the end of a chapter. Maybe it was just the start of a new one.

Then she got in, the door closing after her, and the car set off down the street.

He pocketed his hands into his coat, heart already aching from her absence, and watched the car until it merged with the traffic, faded from view. And just like that, as abruptly as she'd appeared in his life, she was gone.

• • •

a/n: THE END

just kidding lol there's still the epilogue left to go (WHAT??) hang tight!