Hurt

Chapter 6

I opened the door to find a tall dark skin nigga. I looked him all the way up. Starting with his shoes. He was wearing the red and white Jordan 11 lows, some true religion jeans slightly cuffed at the bottom. And a red and white shirt that said "Trap Jumpin' with the "jumpman jordan logo" being the A in trap. He had somewhat of a muscular build and tattoos up his arms. I made my way further up not even realizing I skipped his face and going straight to his hair. Guess that proves style and swag is what attracts my eyes first. Anyways, he had somewhat of the Odell haircut which was pretty sexy. I then went down to his face and was in shock.

"Jamerius!?"

I looked so surprised to see this familiar face

"What the. What are you doing here !?"

Jamerius and I you can say had a spark a while ago, well about a year or two ago. I've known this dude since I was 5 we were like best friends, did everything together ! Literally. He even knew everything that happened with my mother. Not cause I necessarily told him but because he happened to be coming over when the ambulance was taking her body away. He came over constantly I practically lived at his house when mom and dad were fighting and he stayed the night all the time as well. All the way until we turned 15. Then we tried dating it was nice I guess. But Jamerius was always like a bigger brother to me you know so It was awkward at first. We weren't really all that serious but I could feel myself growing an attachment to him. Not the "bestfriend" type of attachment but the one where you felt like you NEEDED this person in your life for forever. Not sure if it was love or not but it was what I was avoiding. So I broke things off. I was turning 16 and I knew that that was the age where girls try and find serious relationships. But me on the other hand, I wanted the exact opposite. I didn't and still don't want to grow close to someone. My dad broke my heart before any guy had the chance to, just growing up watching how he treated me and my mom made me resent relationships. Then watching my mom kill herself shattered my heart, in ways that I know will never be able to be put back together. And I knew Jamerius was looking for something serious within me. So I cut it off. Soon after our friendship that I thought was unbreakable broke. Therefore I have no bestfriends or friends at that. Losing him as my bestfriend made it a done deal for anyone else that wanted to play the role as one.

After Jamerius I had a couple, well more than a couple of boyfriends after. Call me heartless but normally they all lasted like 2-4 weeks. When I felt like someone was getting attached to me or expected me to get attached to them I broke things off. I know that sucks. But do I regret it ? No. I mean they should be thanking me. I'm saving them from heartbreak. Nothing lasts forever, and everything's temporary. Why grow close to someone only to be let down ? My own parents let me down and that was blood. So you think that I'm gonna believe a complete stranger or someone who isn't blood when they say they won't let me down ? Wrong. Lies, lies, and more lies. I'd rather temporary hurt someone than make them feel what I felt. Not only that but every dude one way or another would try and hurt you. And every "friend" would backstab you as well. So it just wasn't worth more pain. Therefore relationships, friendships and all that just wasn't for me. And no one would ever be able to change that.

" nice to see you too" he chuckled

I embraced him in a hug

"You're right, come in"

He came in and I shut the door after him.

"Sit down"

" I was bighead ! "

I laughed kinda cheesing.. it felt nice playing around how we used to when we were younger.

"So wassup Mere?" I said raising one of my eyebrows

"I can't come by to see my Lil Sis ?"

I thought to myself. He has some nerve. Like we weren't more than "bro and sis" at one point but I guess on the bright side he wasn't still upset about me breaking things off.

" For Starters we haven't spoken in almost 2 years. And second, how'd you even find me ?"

"I went to the home realtor place, whatever the hell its called and asked around."

"Ohh" I said kinda looking down raising my eyebrows

" and as to why we have spoken for almost 2 years... well you hurt me Sandra.. we were so close you know.. we were bestfriends.. and then a nigga wanted something serious with you and you left.. I ain't even do anything.. I was loyal.. I was there.. and you left.. I was hurt man.. I'm over it now though.. and no matter what I love you like a little sis till this day."

I felt bad when he said that.. because I did just up and leave out of no where. But I know my reasons for leaving.

"So why now ? " I said trying to brush off that he just told me how he felt. I couldn't show any signs of weaknesses

"Why are you here now ?"

"Well Sandra.. I'm kinda in some trouble "

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