The Thief of Hearts (A Brynjolf Fanfic)

10

I was in a daze for what seemed to be mere moments. But apparently it was far longer than that. I awoke now and then in a feverish sweat, the room soupy and slow before my weakened eyes. There were times I'd see people in hoods and immediately panic, screaming for Brynjolf and my mother. I saw a man in a white robe who shushed me before everything faded to black. I heard a woman's low, threatening voice followed by that of an accented, feline hiss of death. I tossed and turned, my shoulder in a blinding, white-hot pain that left me groaning in agony it was so bad. When I was conscious enough, I prayed to our Lady Luck, Nocturnal, begging her to forgive me of my arrogance. Then I thought to forget about my own selfishness; instead I asked her to protect my family, and not let them suffer my fate. Finally, I heard someone yelling my name. I shut my eyes, but not before a woman in a revealing black dress extended a hand to me.

"Don't let it happen again," she warned. "This is your last shot, little thorn."

~

"SPINA!"

I opened my eyes. I was back in the safety of the our beds in the Ragged Flagon. I stared up at the rafters and when I attempted to move, a throbbing pain shot through my shoulder. I glanced down, blushing slightly; I was naked from the torso up, only cloth bandages protecting my modesty. A rush of sensation washed over me and I realized I was thirsty, too. I glanced over at a chair beside my bed. Vipir sat there, sleeping soundly.

"V-Vipir," I called in a hoarse voice. "Vipir, I need water...please."

He grunted in his sleep before his eyes shot open. He was beside me in a moment. "Nocturnal be merciful!" he cried. "You're awake!"

"How long was I out?" I asked. I recalled the entire incident, much to my shock. The shame was heavy, too heavy to bear at that moment, in fact.

"Nearly two weeks," he announced. "I'll get you water." And with that, he rushed off. I blinked, lying back. Two weeks? That was far too long indeed. What had happened of Tsraravi the assassin, or Maven Black-Briar? I sighed, my throat parched and my body sore. I'd have much explaining to do, so now was the time to prepare myself for it. I shut my eyes, no longer sleeping, but calming my nerves as reality came back to me like a stampede of horses.

I wonder if Brynjolf has been here, I thought silently as Vipir returned with water. I drowned my worries in that pitcher like it was the finest ale I'd ever tasted. Vipir rushed to get me more as my head finally began to clear up. I heard shouting beyond the doors and winced; they knew I was awake. I realized I owed much for my foolish and rash actions, but I didn't want to be bombarded by a million questions and accusations now. Unfortunately, I didn't get to make any decisions as Vex and Delvin hurried in.

"Well, Nocturnal be praised," Delvin cried, standing at the foot of my bed. "We thought you were dead for sure, girly."

"You survived...," Vex said, a slight trace of respect in her voice. "I'm stunned."

"I-I'm so sorry," I burst out immediately. Their faces went dark; they both knew I had wronged them terribly. "I-I wasn't thinking and--"

"Spina?" a voice said. The thieves parted and I saw Brynjolf standing there, looking shocked and relieved. I gulped. I knew what was about to transpire wasn't going to be kisses of consolation. As he approached, I saw that Brynjolf looked paler than normal. And a great deal more tired. He came to the side of my bed, studying me intently. "Spina," he muttered. "You pulled through."

"Aye," I blushed, aware I probably looked worse than horse shite. "Brynjolf, I--"

"Leave us," he said abruptly.

"Uh, what?" Delvin said as an awkward silence filled the quarters. "Bryn, we--"

"Do as I say," he barked, causing me to jump. "Now." The thieves scurried from the room, giving me nervous looks over their shoulders as they ran. I swallowed, noticing that Brynjolf's jaw was clenched and his eyes exhausted. He looked over at me, red hair falling into his face. I cowered from his fiercely disappointed glare. Never had Brynjolf looked at me like THAT. It was such a heavily impending look that it caused my heart to tremble slightly.

"I can explain," I whispered, but he held up a hand.

"No," he murmured. "You can't, lass. You defied me. You left our home in search of danger. By the dragons' blood, what possessed you to do such a thing?"

I licked my dry lips. "I-I wanted to prove that I was ready for the challenge," I admitted. "And after we kissed, I...I wanted to impress you."

The words hung in the air. A look of utter sadness crossed over Brynjolf's face and I felt my spirit falter. I knew the words preparing on the back of his tongue before he even spoke them. "Lass," he said mournfully. "You are...the most amazing creature I've ever met. But you're so young. And your actions could have cost us not only your own life, but the life of your brothers and sisters, too. What would your pride have said to that?"

I hung my head, silent as a mouse.

"I ought to banish you from our ranks," he admitted, but when I shot him a horrified look, he shook his head. "But I'm partially to blame, so I won't."

"What?" I gasped. "What do you mean?"

"Spina," he demanded, standing suddenly. "I pampered you. I spoke highly to you, then kissed you as if you were mine to kiss!" He was roaring now and I whimpered. "I let myself feel something for you that I had no business feeling! And in turn you nearly got yourself killed!" He took a step back, face twisting in agony. "I promised to protect you and I failed."

"Brynjolf," I choked on my tears now. "I was being a selfish fool. Please...."

"No," he insisted. "You'll stay here. I owe you that much."

"Brynjolf, I--"

"Spina, Tsraravi poisoned you," he glared at me. "Just as you tried to do with Maven. Her blade was dipped in a lethal substance that caused you to go through hell for two weeks and I had to watch!" The room fell silent as his enraged echo bounced off the walls and came back to us. I was shaking with pain, and it wasn't from my wound.

"You stay here," he insisted, turning his back to me. "But from here on out, I'm your leader and nothing more. If ever we attempt to cross that line, then you must leave for Whiterun immediately. Do you understand?"

I gulped back the enormous sob in my throat. Everything he said was true: I was an idiot and got full of myself. I allowed our utterly confused feelings take control, and I nearly perished. And while he was furious, Brynjolf was standing here blaming himself. As a proper leader should. I couldn't fault him for that. Not in the slightest, no matter how it made my heart ache.

"I understand," I whispered, "sir."

Brynjolf didn't say a single word more. He left in a huff. I was alone in our quarters, feeling worse than I ever had in Maven's meadery. I lie back on the pillow and hated myself as tears fell on my bandages. My hideous sobs filled the room and for a brief moment, I cared very little who heard me. Instead, I just kept still on my swollen, injured shoulder, and mourned over the relationship with the man I'd never even get the chance to have.

And even though he swore to protect me months ago, this whole thing was my fault.

~

Sad chapter is sad.

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