My Adventure

do I really need this??

This is pretty much going to be my digital journal, mostly because I'm to lazy to write all this. Typing is easy.
Okay let's begin,
Yes I was born female and I'm still currently one but I'm not always comfortable with it, I always pushed away the feelings of wanting to be a boy or not feeling like I needed to have a gender because of a few reasons 1. I only recently found out what being gender fluid means 2. I always just assumed I didn't like girl clothes and that I was a tomboy 3. I'm scared of rejection 4. My parents aren't very accepting of anything other than me being a straight female and especially number 5. I was never very educated on LGBTQ+ terms because my parents never talked about it, they only discouraged it, it goes as far as my mom changing the channel on the tv if a gay or lesbian couple is on it.
I think I knew from a young age I was different, when I was really young my parents would buy me dolls and girly things like that, I would throw the doll on the ground and just start eating the wrapping paper (wow I was a weird child). After they realized I didn't like dolls the next Christmas I got a pack of toy trucks, fire trucks, normal trucks (you get the picture) gosh I loved those things, I kept them for as long as possible, hell I found one in my drawer a few years ago.
I never dressed "girly" unless we went somewhere or my parents brought me shopping, I always liked girl clothes but I still had a strong urge just to go into the guy section and try on suits and flannels and ties, but I never did because my mom wouldn't approve.
Now that I'm 15 I'm trying to build up the courage to go into the guy section and not worry about people looking at me or see me shopping for flannels in the guy section instead of the girls. Can you blame me, girl clothing is so tight and almost all of it is see through or a crop top. So far I've bought one flannel, it's my favorite thing in my wardrobe. My wardrobe consist mainly of black, random colorful shirts I never wear, dresses that I only wear if I have to, hoodies and skinny jeans, band tees, and some shorts. I'm boring.