Trap Queen.

12.5♛

                                                     C H A P T E R - 12.5

      My heart stopped and it felt like I couldn’t breath. Even though my mom had pissed me off at that moment, her not being on this Earth with me would be too much. I wasn’t ready for this or nothing. I ain’t have time to prepare. All of this was just coming at me at one time.

      “What’chu talking about?” I stuttered. I wasn’t expecting her to answer me like that. In a quick second, instead of being pissed at my mom, I felt bad. Everything I did, I felt bad for. My heart stopped. I wanted to cry, but I was so sad, nothing would come out.

      “Egypt, I’m sick. There’s nothing the doctors can do. There’s nothing you, me, or anyone can do. This is all in God’s hands, okay?” It surprised me how calm my mom was at the moment. She didn’t seem like she was scared. It was like she was ready to die, almost. She had the most plain look on her face, like death didn’t matter to her. At this point, she was fearless. She ain’t care about nothing.

      Just like she did when we first moved here.

      Damn, all I could do is laugh. I was laughing at the fact how I didn’t know nothing about this. Laughing at the fact that I thought it was possible that my mom would’ve been here with me forever. It was silly. But, it sure did make sense to me at first. My momma wouldn’t be able to see my have kids. She wouldn’t be able to see me get married, graduate, or nothing.

     “Did you know about this?” I turned my attention to Serena. She shook her head no, but I didn’t believe nothing she said. Right now, all I wanted to do is sleep and forget about all of this. I hoped this was just a nightmare, but my brain was telling me this was reality. My world was crashing down way too damn fast. My mom was about to die, I might’ve found my father, and I ain’t even turn eighteen yet. Something deep in my heart told me that if Momma, Daddy, and me lived in Riverdale none of this bullshit would’ve ever happened.

      I walked out of the house again, running. I ain’t even know where I was gonna go. I just wanted to get the fuck outta Compton. Compton was the reason why I was living this way. Even though I knew damn well none of this was my fault, all I could do was blame myself. All I could do was blame myself for not knowing quicker—quick enough to save Momma.

      My first instinct was to run straight to Reggie’s. I knew he would understand. He ain’t grow up parents—they got addicted to heroin and was too strung out to care of him. He ain’t really talk about it much, but I knew it had to bother him a little bit.

      I busted through the door. I didn’t care who he was seeing at the moment. I just needed to talk to him. He was the only person in all of Compton that I talked to like that. He was good listener, and he was trustworthy. I guess you could say he was my friend. No one was in his house, which was perfect. 

      “Egypt, what the fuck?” Reggie asked me. Right then, I lost it. I couldn’t hold it in no more. I began to cry, real tears. I buried my head in Reggie’s chest, and I could tell he was confused. He rubbed my back, and looked down at me. “Egypt. . . explain to me what happened to you, kid.” He pulled my head out of his chest but all I could do was cry.

      “My momma. . .” It’s all I could get out. I began to cry some more, and more. I couldn’t deal with the fact that I was losing what was most important to me.

      “What’s wrong with ya’ momma, Egypt? Speak up!” Reggie exclaimed. 

       “My momma is gonna die! She got a real bad disease and she ain’t gonna live much longer!” I yelled, sniffling in between my words. My tears can out of my eyes. I ain’t never cried in front of no one, but I couldn’t control this at all. It was too much to deal with at one time.

      “It’s alright, Egypt. . . we got you. . .” Reggie whispered. “You our family. No matter what happens, you our family.”