Dear Mom

Dear Mom, Remember that time I yelled at you because I didn't want to be in this world, I will give you a reason. 

In Middle school was a hard time for me, I wanted to die. I wanted to be lifeless, gone. The reason was I felt like I didn't feel needed to be here. I had no one to talk to about. No friends, No family, No you. Mom, you were always working, always giving your attention to the younger ones. 

Mom, You told me I was beautiful, I never felt like it. I always wanted to die and leave the world and go somewhere else, but why I didn't leave, I had you always, I just wanted to feel love or just noticed.  You knew I was an introvert, didn't I  talk to anyone, literally no one. 

I was your little Maya, the oldest. But by the time I was in high school, I started to open up to other  people. I remember this one time that I got pushed into the lockers, and I had a bruised eye, it was purple and black, when I got home you asked what was wrong with my eye, I said I ran into a wall, you said ok. 

Remember all the times we had Mom, We were awesome over the top we would make references to stuff, Remember you told me about choosing kindness, every time I got pushed into the lockers I would always do something nice for the lunch ladies, the janitor, even the jerks.

Mom, I'm not scolding you, I'm just asking you to choose kindness, be with the side of kindness.

From Maya Windsdoor  your loving daughter.