Not Enough: Langst Voltron [Stopped]

Protect me from my Demons

Finally, I updated, I know, I'll try to update more! I commented on the last chapter I would be busy for the next four weeks, and now it's down to two! Yayyyyyyy welp no one cares AnYwAy let's get to the story!

The next couple of weeks changed, but not far from the regular routine. Everyone still practically ignored me, but Keith always glanced my way. I hated it, I hated feeling embarrassed and vulnerable. I guessed no one cared though, so I had never really been bothered by it until now.

Dinner was a nightmare to get out of. I never really wanted to eat but I had to sit down with them, so Keith kept staring at my empty plate, then one night, he whispered something to Shiro. After dinner, Shiro came to talk to me.

"Lance, wait," He had said before I turned the corner.

I just turned around, hoping it wasn't about dinner.

"Keith said you hadn't been eating enough." 

Of course, it's about dinner. What else would it be?

"Don't worry Shiro, I ate a ton before dinner, nothing to worry about!"

I hated fibbing, it got me in this situation. It made sure no one ever noticed I was dying on the inside while smiling on the outside. I hated it, but it was my drug.

"Alright, just try not to eat too much before dinner next time." 

He turned away, just like all of them. Like all the other people in my life, not even noticing the pain behind my smile and the tears behind my laughing. They never noticed-and they never will.

I walked to the training deck, hoping to take out my anger on one of the robots. They helped me cope with it when no one else could. I vented when I was sure I was alone, closing the door to the deck. I just talked to myself, thinking and wondering while angry and sad at the same time.

Today, though, Pidge and Keith had beaten me to it. I tried to hide on the other side of the doorframe, but they had already spotted me.

"Lance! Keith thought we might find you here." Pidge was not unusually happy, but there was a slight edge to her voice,

"Quiznaking dammit!" I sprinted off, but I had worn socks so I wouldn't ruin my feet while training. As turning a corner, I lost to gravity and collapsed against the wall.

"Cmon, Lance, get up," I heard Keith mumble.

I attempted a small chance of escape by grasping the other end of the floor, but Keith caught up to me faster. 

"Dude! What was that for?!" Oh, right. Pidge was there too. 

"UuUghhhhh." Dang, that fall hurt my head. I turned over. "What do you want?"

Keith sat down next to me. "First, we need you to get up."

"Fine...." I sat down in the living room with them- if you can call it that. I was honestly really hoping that this was just for a mission.

"So," Keith started, "I've noticed that you're not treating yourself healthy, like not eating or sleeping enough. What's going on?"

Yep, there it is.

"Alright, first of all," I retorted, "Why are you taking note of my sleep patterns? Second, why are you stalking me?!"

Quiznak, Lance, why were you so rude?

Why did you yell?

You're going to get in trouble now, good job, dumbass!

Weirdo, now you're just talking to yourself.

Who does that?

My head pounded, but I resisted the urge to grab it. I didn't want Keith (or Pidge) to think I was anymore weird than I already was.

"I'm not stalking you, I just noticed you weren't sleeping at 12 pm through 4 am! You get two hours of sleep! Why do I know that? Because you train every night at those times!"

He could hear your training? 

He thinks you're so annoying.

He doesn't care, he just wants you to keep it down.

Selfish! Think of others sometimes!

I went quiet, though he kept ranting.

"You think you're so special because you train all the time and refuse to eat anything!" His voice kept raising. "And you think no one notices that you're dying on the inside, and you think you're all alone. Well, guess what? I'VE BEEN IGNORED MY WHOLE LIFE TOO. I was an ORPHAN. How much attention do you think those get?" It went on and on. Tears spilled out of both our eyes and Pidge had her hand over her mouth, worry crossed over her face and little droplets in the corner of her eyes.

"You know what?!" I finally raised my voice. I was done with him yelling at me. "I hate you! I hate you Keith Kogane!" My voice cracked, and I covered my mouth realizing what I had said. I ran away, It didn't matter where. I needed to leave. I couldn't bear to see Keith's broken face another second, and I didn't want to see my teammate's faces covered in tears.

I eventually ended up in the escape pod wing, and jumped into one of the empty ships, tears flooding my eyes. I just put in random coordinates without looking, not being able to with the ocean flooding my face. I needed to leave, no one wanted me here.

So with the press of a button, I was gone.