Always - short story

2

A/N: Thank you so much for the positive feedback. I'm still a bit rusty and this chapter was sort of rushed? I might tweak it now and then. Anyway,thanks again for reading! 

“…Lord knows that I've tried how hard i try

but this here is the life I choose

I've burned the bridge that leads back to you

no possibility I can deny, I can deny that…”

 

When she opened her eyes, she was at her stop. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stumbled upright, realizing that the drunken man had disappeared. She figured he might have been sober after all, only adding on to the guilt she felt on her shoulders.

The moment Vera stepped out onto the platform, her entire body shuddered. It was terrifyingly cold.

Cold drops of water pounded onto her skin and trickled down her neck. She pulled her hood over her head as the train sped away and simply stood. The train station was extremely vacant and she figured, she had nothing to lose, if she just stood there for a while. Closing her eyes, she remembered once again.

“Did you get them yet?” he'd grinned, taking his eyes off his phone and back onto her.

The two were in completely different parts of the city, but they kept each other company through the cameras built into their computers. It seemed like the only thing that kept them apart was each other's computer screens, which glowed back at their faces in their dim rooms.

She glanced to her silent phone next her, smiling. She felt a spark of excitement and anxiety inside of her, unsure of what to expect. She shook her head and looked back at his pixelated image.

“How about now?” he inquired again, the second of many times he’d ask until she received whatever he had sent her.

“No,” she chuckled. She clicked to another window on her laptop, concealing his image but not his annoyingly kind, but warm, voice.

She scrolled down a blog and waited with him. The moment he’d began asking if she’d received anything, her phone chimed and lit up.

“Finally. Yes, I got it!” she exclaimed, just as excited as he was.

She reached for her phone and saw his name next to “new text message”, in big bold letters, “Jared.”

Before opening the message, she sighed at his goofy face, making him seem like an anxious child getting ready to open a gift – or in this case, watch someone he cared about open something he’d so happily created.

“Hurry up,” he pressed, all while tapping away at his phone’s keyboard once again.

Vera opened the text, only to be greeted by the same three words filling the entire screen of her touchscreen phone.

“I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you…” it said. Her mouth gaped for a while and she couldn’t help but smile. 

She felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach, her heart pound (in a good way), and her lips spread wider than she had ever done in a while. Never before had a boy ever texted her such a long message, nevertheless the same three words that would have surely made her feel uncomfortable.

But this time was different; she didn't feel uncomfortable or indifferent. He made her feel special. He made her feel belonged – as if he wanted her in his life; as if she actually meant something to him. He made her feel warm inside.

Soon enough, she’d received message after message, all while his pixelated grin was spreading. She shook her head and laughed as he continued to type and send away carelessly.

“Stop it!” she giggled, hopelessly trying to keep up with message after message, all of which contained miscellaneous messages.

“Stop what? I have no idea of what you’re talking about,” he said casually as he kept his eyes glued to his own phone.  He was clearly having fun with this – and so was she.

It went on for almost an hour, until he finally gave in. She took each message as a sentimental gift, each one meaning more than he’d ever imagine.

“Well, I think I’ll knock out now,” he yawned, stretching and falling back onto his bed. She watched him collapse and held her phone in her hands, frantically thinking of a way to respond without sounding too dorky.

“Alright,” she replied shakily, still amazed by his random messages. “Good night!”

“Good night. And remember,” he said, winking at her with tired eyes, “Sweet dreams...”

“And don’t forget to look both ways,” they recited together, a silly, meaningless phrase they shared each night they’d talked. He waved goodbye to her once more and she clicked the “end call” button, falling back onto her bed as the conversation ended with a chime of bells.

She looked down at her phone as it lit up again, revealing another new text message. It was from him, a late text message; the last of the batch he’d sent earlier.

Suddenly, as another train sped by behind her, she jumped, and felt her phone weigh down in her jean pocket. She was soaking now, except for the heavy jean pockets that hid under her long hoodie sweater.

When she reached for her phone and sprinted to a temporary shelter, she felt her cheeks hurt; that was when she realized she’d been smiling foolishly all that time she had been reminiscing…

…Over stupid, stupid memories, she thought. And yet for some reason, she found herself looking back at those messages in her memory, still saved, and still filling up most of the memory storage in her inbox.

She laughed at how stupid she felt and dropped her hand to her side, clutching the phone with her damp hand. She shook her head and blinked back a tear, realizing that there was no more purpose for those messages.

Those messages had lost meaning now – now that she knew they never meant anything in the first place. They were nothing but words, words she took too seriously. She was a fool because she fell for his trap; she was a fool because she loved.

Delicately, she emptied her inbox, pressing one last button to confirm the deletion. With a swallow, she turned off her phone completely, and dropped her head into her hands.

She had done it – and now, she would have no other way back to the only memories she had left; the only memories she could remember on her own.