I finally understand the feeling of missing someone you'll never see again.
At first I didn't understand but, now just at the mere thought of someone I used to talk to makes me cry.
Especially when I cared very deeply for them.
Like for example my dear friend Thomas.
We was distance and at the same time close.
Our company alone was enough, we was so close people thought we dated.
He never told me anything that was personal and I was the same with certain things.
I miss seeing his face everyday or hearing his voice.
I'm crying now just thinking about it.
I will never be happy with this shitty feeling of being completely alone.
Oh why do I feel this way, Everytime we text now I dread the ended of our conversations.
They never lasted long and it contently makes me feel as if I'm not worth the time to anyone.
The content thought of giving up, the thought of us never truly being friends, the thought of losing a part of myself.
I slowly drown day by day in the thoughts these some days I feel great but that never last either.
Sometimes I wish that I'll lose these thoughts forever but, with these I would also lose my memories of Thomas and all my other friends that I care deeply.
It's a lose, lose situation for me but I will never stop supporting Thomas and my other friends when they need I'm always a click away it's just to if they response or even want any conversation with me.
So that's all I guess I will probably never be remembered by anyone by my family but.....
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU WHOSE WHO WASN'T JUST MY FRIENDS BUT ALSO MY SUPPORT SYSTEM.
