I used to not really like you. Then again, I didnt really like anyone, at first. But then I got to see you for you. You were the guy who made everyone laugh. You were so silly and goofy all the time. I wondered how you came up with the things you said randomly, in the spur of the moment. But you could also have a bad temper. You had a side to you that even I was surprised at. You also had those days where you came to class sad, or not in the mood to be sociable. But then you would come my way and end up smiling, bothering me-which I seceretly didn't mind- and would end up returning to your social butterfly nature. A freak of nature. Yet one with nature. That's what your pictures say, anyway. Trees, bushes, land. Why? The socialite, class clown actually isn't as superficial as the rest? Peculiar, you are, a freak of nature. A freak indeed. A Libra, even. Isn't it freaky how my dad is a Libra? Maybe that's what attracts me to you: the desire to fill a void of connection. When we reconnected after almost two years I figured out a little piece of the puzzle one can only describe as you: possibly a kid stuck in a grown-up world; a kid who enjoys innapropriate jokes and shows and aliens and memes. A kid who probably only wants love, like everybody else. But we're not friends: remember buddy? We're not. But do I want to be? At times, I secretly think you know I left a message on your ThisCrush. You liked my post, which you never did until after I posted that. Maybe something turned your heart and mind over my way. Me: the girl everybody knows as nice with a temper to her: an edge, even. I came to this school mad at nothing and will soon leave it happy at everything. One of those things being you. Even though you were an entire grade ahead of me, I still think about you if a mutual friend tags you in a picture or post on FaceBook. Yet here, there are no mutual friends: just my thoughts and a keyboard. Me, with extra time. You, probably sleep or high. I should probably flirt more. Or maybe a little less. I put you as my lockscreen, which you know, and I am surprised every time I turn my phone screen on. You, the funny, goofy kid I knew back-when, appear on my screen to light up my smile a little more. But this isn't a crush. No; not at all. But rather a blooming friendship I see and a journey into memory lane of what used to never be: what never got to happen back-when. And, yet, here we are living our futures. A future only lit by the light emitted from a cell phone. And there you are, living in it, emitting your own social light, you socialite. So, shine brightly you class clown. Make others smile, as you have made me. Just remember that I used to not really like you. And I still don't. 💙
