Anthological

Problems

Words: 707

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   4.    "Do  you, by any chance, suffer from any... family problems?"

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             You're part of a big family living in a big house. Your grandmother is slowly suffocating you and your grandfather is the most misogynistic man you know and your mother is working and your father is doing something but you don't know what. Your cousins are annoying and your brother is the favourite and your uncles just insult you every time they could and your one aunt is never there. Denial is a river in Egypt but it must also be an ocean in your front yard because everybody ignores the fact that you're not totally okay with all of this anymore.

             Your grandmother wants you to do nothing but study and your grandfather wants you to cook and be meek like the perfect wife and your mother wants you to be everything she was too stupid to be and you've forgotten what your father once wanted for you. Your cousins want you to be fun like you used to be but lack the energy to be anymore and your brother wants you to just play with him again and your uncles want you to be silent when you take their insults and to never cry and your aunt wants you to be her doll and for you to dress up in every outfit without complaint.

            Your grandmother and grandfather and mother and father used you as the test kid, the thing to practice on, and use your brother as the perfect golden kid. You see them push you to the breaking point and then when you break down they just make mental notes to not do that with him. When they let you have no freedom whatsoever and you become rebellious as retaliation they make sure they make sure to give him just enough freedom to satisfy him. While they aren't abusive with you, at least not intentionally, you feel as if he's golden, grown under perfect conditions, and his faults aren't totally the result of his upbringing. It's better than your own upbringing and you feel that if he's golden you're barely even bronze. 

               Your cousins and your brother miss you. You're barely there and you used to be fun to hang out with, you used to reprimand them and be happy with them and just be with them. Now you lock yourself up in your room and play loud music and ignore everything that existed outside your bedroom door. Now they fall prey to your anger tendencies and they still love you but now it's more like obligation. Your brother doesn't know why you look frustrated whenever he's supported by your parents and grandparents. Soon they'll forget how happy you used to be and know you as the raging person who tells them to shut up, I'm trying to read and rarely ever leaves their room.

                    Your uncles don't know you anymore. They were young and you were there and they started the things that stated out as teases and got blown up into full-blown bullying. You used to cry, but you don't anymore, and they mistake your silence as compliance, and they  continue with it. Then you reply with your dictionary of sarcastic insults and witty replies and they go on with it with renewed vigor, not knowing that they're leading you to run away from their hurtful comments.

                    Your aunt is confused. She always saw the dress-ups as bonding times and you don't spend as much time with her anymore and her head is still stuck in the time when you used to like pastels and pinks and purples and whites. Now she looks at you, all black and dark red and dark purple and grey, and as she continues shopping with you in  new stores with more depressing and dark clothing and overtones, she wonders when exactly did you change and why she didn't notice. 

                   Now you're sitting in a freezing cold office in some of your least depressing clothes, suffering through an interview for boarding school, a chance to get away. You studied long and hard for the written exams, you'll be damned if you fail the interview.

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       "Do you, by any chance, suffer from any... family problems?" 

"No."