Deep Within (One Shots and Excerpts)

That Guy (I)

THAT GUY (Part I)
(Originally written from my first account @mizukie_026)
All Rights Reserved. © 2013

WARNING/NOTE: For some sentimental, beginner writer, purpose, I didn’t edit the first part of this story. Hoho. So please, bear with those ‘eyesores’.)

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It's gloomy. It matches what I'm feeling right now. I'm sure it will be raining hard sooner or later. At 'di nga ako nagkamali. Droplets of rain began to pour from the sky. Hanggang sa lumakas na ang ulan.

I watched them from a far as he cheerfully share his umbrella with her and walk under the rain.

A tear escaped from my eyes. So this is it, huh? I bit my bottom lip and roughly wipe my tears away with my hand.

Game over.

He loves her and she loves him too. While me? Loving him secretly. Left hanging to the assumption that he will be mine without me doing actions. But I was wrong. Really wrong.

There they are. Happy with each other’s company and engulfed in their own world. I'm supposed to be happy for them too, right?

Because look! My guy bestfriend finally found his "life" with her. I'm supposed to be happy because he finally learn to love again after so many things he have been through.

I'm supposed to be happy for them--for him. Because that is my role as his bestfriend and her bestfriend. Dapat maging masaya ako.

Ako na laging andiyan nang mga oras na umiiyak siya dahil sa kanya.

Ako na umiintindi sa kanya sa mga kalokohan niya.

Ako na matiyagang nakikinig sa walang sawang pagkukuwento niya kung paano niya nakuha ang puso ng girl bestfriend ko.

Ako na pilit na itinatago ang sakit habang kinukwento niya n ‘yon sa akin.

Ako na nagmamahal sa kanya nang 'di niya nalalaman. Dahil kahit kailan ay 'di niya man lamang ako nakita bilang isang babae na minamahal siya . . . Dahil kapatid lang ang turing niya sa akin. I'm his little sister that he never had sabi niya nga.

It really hurts. I know that hurting and feeling pain were just a part of loving a guy like him. Akala ko naihanda ko na ang sarili kong masaktan. Akala ko lang pala iyon. I don't expect that it hurts like a bitch. 'Coz I know no matter how I try to get your attention I always end up like a dumb. I can never steal your heart from her. I can never win against her. Dahil alam kong sa simula pa lang talo na ako. Ako lang naman itong tangang umaasang mapapansin mo din ako. Ako lang naman itong tanga na umaasa sa wala. Alam ko naman sa umpisa pa lang na magugustuhan mo siya. At hindi nga ako nagkamali.

She, who loves him the most. She, who catches all the kindness in this world. She, who speaks like an angel. She, whom you call your "angel". She, who you treasure the most. And she, who heals your heart from the pain you've been in the past.

Isang bagay na 'di ko nagawa because he didn't let me to . . . because I wasn’t the one he needed to . . . her.

I threw one last glance at them. I smile. A real one. Well… I tried to.
I guess I should move on with my life too, without him who’s always there by my side. Alam ko naman na nandiyan pa rin siya kahit sila na. Pero alam kong iba na ngayon na meron na siyang taong mas paglalaan ng oras niya. After all 'di naman matatapos ang pag-inog ng mundo ko kung wala siya sa tabi ko just like before.