***This chapter is not edited.
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Suman scooped the laptop on her lap. She was going to drag the cursor to the desired folder when a notification window popped up. She clicked on it. As the window switched to full screen mode, she blinked her eyes several times to make sure whether they were deceiving her or not.
Shravan Malhotra sent you a friend request.
His profile picture displayed his handsome self. But that didn't charm Suman. Well, not anymore!
Even in the picture, his smiling face seemed to mock her. And it reminded her of the masquerade party yet again. The buried pain crept up from the depth of her heart and she felt a shiver travel through her body. In a flash, she grabbed her laptop and threw it on the floor. She didn't care if it broke into pieces nor if it would ever work again. Her heart was broken and it was now out of function. So a mere electronic device was the last thing she was going to worry about.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She sniffled and wiped away the tears in the most unladylike way. She didn't care if someone entered the scene and found her crying like a little child. She didn't care about anything. She was shattered. No matter how much she tried to stay strong and push those painful memories in a deep dark hollow, her mind would bring them up eventually and then she would cry all over again. She hoped that her life will wake up to a bright day on Shravan's return. But it was the opposite. As always, her hopes were shattered.
Suman made a promise to herself that she would not let anyone harm her self respect and she was ready to fight for it. Come what may!
But still it hurt. Maybe because Shravan was her best friend. That's why it hurt so bad. The closeness between them wasn't letting her move on. She just couldn't accept the fact that Shravan, her Shravan did that to her. When he left for London, she realised what he meant to her. As a teenager, anyone would say that she was a hard headed and stubborn girl who found fun in mocking others. Whose way of life was throwing tantrums. A bold attitude to show off her superiority. And the biggest part was at times 'using' her best friend who was the school's infamous nerd- Shravan Malhotra. Ok, she admitted that there were times she actually 'used' him- at the point of bullying him. But no one knew that inside was a scared little girl whose heart was beautiful and soft like a flower. Who was scared that she was left all alone. Her parents' death was the biggest shock of her life and since she had a mindset that no one would come forward to defend her in any kind of situation. No one was her own after her parents left. The world seemed cruel to her and so did God. She was so vulnerable that she put up walls around her to never let the world see the real Suman. She was angry at how ironic her fate was and how God had played a cheap game with her. That was her mindset. She felt like she was put in a battle field and the whole world was against her. Everyday, every moment she counted and wished for her death. She would at times look up at the sky and question if her parents knew how hard it was to live without them. She would tell how she died thousand deaths still death didn't come to consume her. The tough headstrong girl was merely a camouflage and beneath was a weak girl who was at times frightened of her surroundings and was unsure of her existence. She found it hard to understand if their was actually any place for her in the world. And so she decided to fight for herself. She was afraid of getting crushed. And the only way to escape was 'crushing' others. She knew she would be bullied in school for her being an orphan. So to prevent that, she became a bully herself. She joined the school's 'elites'. They had only one aim and that was to bully the 'non- elites' like hell. She was very much active on that part and soon she became 'famous' in the group. She was out of the fear of getting bullied. Though she knew her so called 'friends' wouldn't think twice to even bully her if they got any chance. So she never let them have any. Even if they bullied her best friend 'the nerd'. In fact she joined them in full swing. She knew she was wrong. But she assured herself that she was doing all of that for 'self defense'. She had a right to do it. There's no need to feel guilty. That's what she kept saying to herself for the peace of mind.
