God Complex

Final Chapter: Liam

One Year Later

Liam

                I can still hear her screams when I sleep at night. The smell of iron rouses me from even the deepest of my slumbers. Not a night goes by that I don’t picture her, or him, their lifeless bodies. It is said that time will heal all wounds but that’s shit. This is a wound no amount of stitches, or patches, or medications can fix. It is a scar, one that is putrid and eternally fresh.  I’ve been to many doctors, but they didn’t help. All the brightly colored little pills and different therapies just wasted of my time and my money. Ill be honest with you, I have become quite used to the memories and visions at night. They’re haunting and terrifying but always the same. Jess’s screams, her last words to me play on repeat in my mind, and even that I have become numb to. There is only one thing now that frightens me, only one thing that makes my heart beat against my chest as it did all those nights.

                Silence.

                It’s like you’re running into a forest, a dark serial killer infested forest. You don’t know how long you’ve been running, or when you started. All you know is that you cannot stop; you cannot even turn around to see what’s behind you. All you can do is run and never stop. I often find myself in hysteric fits of laughter because of how ironic the whole thing is. I lived in silence for so long, and now I cannot bear it. I’ve gone to extreme measures in order to keep my taunting thoughts away. It’s almost like wearing a strait jacket to keep myself from going insane. Sometimes I turn up the music so loud I don’t even know what song is playing; all I know is that I can’t let it fall silent. Noises have become a necessity, a drug perhaps. I no longer crave it, but much rather need it. All too well I know what with happen when the thoughts can be heard. All the men in white coats I went to for help just gave me pretty pills for the pain, so I prescribed myself with pure noise. I started by installing it everywhere. My car, every room in my home, I even carry it with me, just in case. I feel them in the back of my mind though, the thoughts I have pushed in so deep.

                People don’t look at me like they used to. It’s true that many took pity on me because my father passed away when I was young but now they look upon me as a walking tragedy, broken beyond repair. People refer to what happened as “the incident” as if I was in some tragic car accident. I’ve become the town loner seeing that no one can hold an actual conversation with me anymore. It used to be that people would come up to me and apologize for my life, or try to talk about the weather with me. Some even praised me for my strength which only pissed me off more. Truth is I wish I had died out there. Physically I walked out of that forest, but my mind is still trapped in that goddamned cabin. People began to realize that and slowly retracted from me, leaving me to sit in fucking silence. So this is my life; starting that day I met Jess and ending the night I saw her lifeless body. It’s almost comical how alone I feel. I’m a headline, a case study, a Lifetime movie, or the only survivor of the God Complex killer; a household name yet no one really knows me.

                I look at old photos; some of Jess and some of my parents. It helps me pretend like it never happened. I was just a normal kid with a normal life, oblivious to the evil that encases the world around me. I grew up believing that the whole world was within my reach but now I see I’m stuck behind a blood soaked screen, locked away in a world so cold. Humans are vile creatures that have mastered the art of pretending to be normal. History shows that man craves power, and that he will stop at nothing to gain said power. Michael wanted to hold the highest of powers; to be the creator, master of life and death. He wanted to play God. He was mistaken; humans don’t need a god. Though we bow down to a higher power, it does not come easy. There is tension and rage because we all want to be the ruler; we all want to be god. You might say all of us have an inner god or goddess, one that plays well with our inner devil. You see, the world doesn’t need to believe in the devil, we are the devil. It’s on the news every day; people just choose to ignore what they fear. They go on pretending that everyone lives a beautiful suburban life, happy as can be. And when the reality of evil hits, it shatters you. It’s almost ironic how it came into my own life; I never believed in God, but I have seen the face of the Devil.

And now the Devil has awakened inside of me.