DemonKnight09

When nobody cares

Hey guys! It's me. How's it going? Hope everything is all right and have faith that good things will come your way.

So I have been a little busy because of school and family... well a bit more about family. You see, my family is a little...... screwed up right now. 

My dad and mom are having a little cold war since god knows when. My dad doesn't really talk to any of us. He's very quiet at home, and doesn't utter even 5 sentences a day. 

My mom is closer to me, but not as close as most of you are to your parents. I don't really talk to my mom about stuff because 1) Most of the time our discussion will turn into an arguments so I try not to talk to her and 2) She's very controlling and I feel uncomfortable talking to her. I also feel awkward having conversations with her because we are just not that close.

And then there's my younger brother, who always pushes me away whenever I try to make a connection. Sometimes he says things that hurt, and I rebut most of the time, and he will act in a way that he seems to not care. I'm also closer to his friends than to mine, and sometimes I feel like he manipulates us so that he pushes me away from them. He's also very rebellious and lacks a sense of respect, and likes to call people 'Cunt, bitch, dumb, stupid' for no apparent reason. When I scold him, He doesn't listen and says that I'm annoying. Even his friends say that I'm annoying. That makes me feel like I am in the wrong somehow, that I hurt his feelings. But then he doesn't care about mine, which at that point I get very confused and just lost. 

This made me feel a lot of things. That I am not accepted for who I am, I'm isolated, lonely, forced to change (this one especially, because I feel like I'm always wrong), and that theirs and my own reactions make me wonder who was at fault. I don't have anyone to talk to at home, so most of the time I don't talk unless it is an argument. No one in the house seems to care, about each other, and themselves.

Should I change? Any insights on this? I feel so lost and lonely right now. I'm sure I have my own flaws, but I don't know anymore. I would love to see your views on this. Till the next post, see ya!