When I was 11 my father kicked my older sister out of the house. He's a "functional alcoholic" and spent most of his time drinking and yelling at us, now my sisters gone and my door is broken. He still yells and he's still a righteous dick. I remember when she was kicked out, I remember the yelling and the sound of the door breaking and I remember the crying and I remember deciding just a few months later that god wasn't real and if he was he was cruel and capricious and that I didn't want any of that. I remember my father making my sister and I watch graphic horror movies like "Fallen" or that one R rated movie about Jesus and would yell at me when I asked to leave the room. I vividly recall being threatened several times and I remember my sister getting the worst of it. I remember my father calling my mother a "stupid fucking bitch" and denying it only seconds later, leading me to believe that I am a liar.
I think i might be scared
