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5:30 AM   

I flip the pillow once more to feel the cold material on my face.  Snuggling further into the blankets provided by the hospital, I close my eyes and finally feel a sense of ease. 

 BEEP BEEP

Bloody hell. Just my luck for the alarm to go off right when I am almost asleep. This hospital spares me close to no sleep. Whether it be an nurse coming in to 'check on me' or my anxiety pumping through the roofs.

I wince as I sit up on  the bed; my back aches from all of the tossing and turning that I have done. Not to mention the rock hard bedding.  I hate how sleep can be  so exhausting  for me. And that's a double meaning.  I hold the terrible pain of overthinking. What if  this and what if  that. Its excruciating, as if my mind has to constantly torment me.  

I groan and stand up, heading towards the furnished bathroom. At least I can be discharged today. 

I've been hospitalized at least 6 times in the last two months. 


I suppose its necessary when you have lung disease.   


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